Region 1 DVD Releases for August 1, 2006

V for Very Little Coming Out This Week.

V for Vendetta (Widescreen Two-Disc Special Edition)

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t completely blown away by this. But it’s still a must-see. Probably one of the most subversive, biting indictments of the current administration you’ll see in graphic novel adaptation form (which is a little ironic given that the graphic novel was satirizing the Thatcher administration - okay, maybe not that ironic). Anyhoo, don’t go in expecting a great action film, though there are a couple of sweet action sequences. It’s really more of a drama, and a very good one at that. You may even tear up a little. I did.

Without splurging you get a making-of doc. Go for the two-disc version and you get more docs, including the history of Guy Fawkes and the original comic. Also, an SNL digital short easter egg about which I’m very curious. (Is it really an easter egg if they advertise it on Amazon?)

The Shaggy Dog

It’s Tim Allen in a remake of The Shaggy Dog. You either want to see that or you don’t.

There’s something called the “Bark-Along Bone-Us” feature and, I gotta say, it’s very bold of them to say that in a kid’s film.

Frontline - The Age of AIDS

I don’t usually highlight Frontlines since there are so many, but this is what I would call required viewing, and not in a last-week’s-Family-Guy-was-fucking-awesome kind of way. To be certain, this is not some shrill lecture on the dangers of HIV. This is a riveting history of the epidemic, from its mysterious origins to its wholly depressing rise abetted by ignorance and fear (okay, now I’m being shrill).

No extras but this is, like, four hours long. You don’t want extras.

What the “Bleep” Do We Know?! - Down the Rabbit Hole Quantum Edition

This is essentially a longer version (much longer) of the surprise hit documentary/pseudo-science-on-parade flick from 2004. It didn’t do as well. One interesting note - this DVD contains a feature that throws random clips into every viewing, so that no two viewings are the same. Yeah, I’m still not into it.

Girls Next Door: Season One

Two wonderful things about this DVD of the first season of a reality show about Hef’s ladies: First, it comes with a censored and an uncensored audio commentary track. Who is going to listen to the censored track? “Hmm. I really want my eleven-year-old to see the Playboy Mansion, but he really shouldn’t hear any foul language while he’s there.” Second, this comes with a personality test. I’m sorry, but if you can’t tell already whether or not you’re a Holly, a Bridget or a Kendra, no test can help you.

Update: More here.

After three weeks at number one, Pirates got pushed out by Vice. It’s knocking on the top ten of all time’s door at number eleven. I overshot the Miami gross, but not horribly. Still ends up being Mann’s highest opening. I way overshot Ant Bully, but my theory about diminishing returns on animated fare holds true, just truer than I expected. I was pretty dead on with John Tucker, which is kind of sad because that means it landed in third place.

Little Miss Sunshine’s per-screen this weekend? Just south of $51,000. Like I said, Searchlight will make their money back.

8/4

Wide

TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Anchorman, but with NASCAR.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, and that’s not surprising given the fact that the same team behind Anchorman reunites here. Ferrell and director Adam McKay once again share writing duties, and the supporting cast includes such Frat Pack stand-bys as Gary Cole and David Koechner and adds to them Michael Clarke Duncan, John C. Reilly, Amy Adams, Sacha Baron Cohen, Andy Richter and, of course, Elvis Costello and Mos Def.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With audiences maxed out on CG by the time Barnyard comes out this week, there’s really no other competition, and I think people miss Ferrell in form. $99mil.

THE NIGHT LISTENER
Anybody listening in there? I know it’s still daylight out, but, you know, I thought I’d, you know, check.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Indie thriller with Robin Williams investigating the claims of an unusual story involving a young boy and his mother (Toni Collette).

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, though critics seem to be preferring it to audiences, in an unusual twist. It seems strange, given the fact that Armistead Maupin is co-adapting his own novel here, and having it directed by The Business of Strangers helmer Patrick Stettner, but that’s how it turned out. Bobby Cannavale is up in here, tho, and that can’t hurt.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It’s a nice bit of counter-programming - this feels like a fall movie. However, I don’t know if that will be enough to defeat mediocre buzz, especially in wide release. $10mil.

THE DESCENT

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A group of spelunkers are terrorized by, well, let’s just say bad things, man, bad things.

WILL IT SUCK?
Could end up being the best horror film of the year. Certainly the best I’ve seen in a while. My full review will be up on filmcritic.com on Friday. Don’t watch the trailer!

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
If it weren’t for Pulse the following week…this would still have trouble. Although the buzz is hella-good, there’s just not that much market penetration. But if anyone can take a no-name horror flick and turn it into gold, Lionsgate can. The rumored Saw III trailer tie-on should help. $25mil.

BARNYARD

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Oh, look. It’s another CG-animated flick about rebellious animals.

WILL IT SUCK?
The other half of Santa vs. the Snowman and Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (the first half did Ant Bully the previous week - and we saw how that turned out), Steve Oedekirk, is behind this one, writing and directing. As much as I secretly enjoyed his last feature-length writing/directing gig, the terrible, terrible Kung Pow: Enter the Fist, I still don’t consider that a lock.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Even though Zoom comes out the following week, the real problem comes from being the third in a series of CG-animated flicks released on consecutive weekends. I underestimated how much people would loathe The Ant Bully, so I’m going to try to downplay this one. $27mil.

Limited

QUINCEAÑERA

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Quinceañera is a ceremony celebrating a young Hispanic girl’s 15th birthday. Except when her father finds out she’s pregnant. Then all hell breaks loose.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, but not as good as you’d expect for a film that won both the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award at Sundance.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This week? Fine. Next week it’s gotta deal with Half Nelson and House of Sand. $2mil.

Next Week: Is it too soon for a movie about 9/11? I mean, another one?

Instead of a trailer roundup, I figured it’d be more fun this week to list alternate opening lines to the first verse of the Lionel Richie classic “Say You, Say Me,” which begins, “I had a dream. I had an awesome dream.”

“I had a dream. I had a gnarly dream.”

“Dude, I had this fucked up dream last night.”

“I had a dream. It was wicked awesome.”

“I had a dream. You had a dream. We had a dream together. Naturally.”

“I had a dream. It was a series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.”

“I had a dream. I had a dream that all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics were kicking your ass.”

As promised, here’s the countdown. You’ll notice that it’s weighed toward more recent fare, but I’ll point you to the title and my spotty memory. You’ll also notice it’s weighed toward sci/fi/fantasy/action, but I think those genres lend themselves more toward the gripping finale than most. Oh, and if you’re worried about spoilers, the most recent thing on here is from spring 2005, and it’s not really giving anything away (although some of the others do - get Netflix already!). Final caveat, I have yet to see a full season of The Sopranos, Deadwood, Battlestar Galactica or a host of other classics, so, one last time, I’ll direct you to the title.

10. Sledge Hammer! - “The Spa Who Loved Me”
Season One Finale
Yes, actually.

“Hammerrrrrrr!!!!!”

What makes this finale is not so much the quality of the show (I was never a big fan) but the audacity of the conclusion. See, the producers were convinced that the show would not be renewed, so they did what any producers would do, they had the main character destroy L.A. with a nuclear bomb. So, with everyone on the show (and, presumably, Los Angeles) dead, they had to do some pretty quick thinking when the show actually was renewed and they had to write a new season. Enter Sledge Hammer - The Early Days. The rest of the show presumably happens before the first season. Never mind the fact that a main character who isn’t even introduced until the first season is still around. Like I said, audacity.

9. Alien Nation - “Green Eyes”
Series Finale

“We have all the equipment we need - it’ll take about two weeks to produce enough bacteria to spray L.A. County.”

And it’ll take a lot longer than that to find out what happened. Unlike Sledge Hammer!, this show actually was cancelled with L.A. about to go boom. At least for the aliens. The human bad guys concoted a bacteria that would wipe them all out. And, earlier in the season, a scientist sent a message into space saying that he’d found the alien slavemasters’ missing slaves…and six billion new ones.

A TV-movie, Alien Nation: Dark Horizon, addressed both of these cliffhangers…four years later.

8. Smallville - “Covenant”
Season Three Finale

“Orange is a good color for you, Dad, although it might get a little old after 25 to life.”

The art of the montage is what takes this above and beyond what was already turning into the “holy crap this is actually a good show” third season for Smallville (right before the “wow, it’s crappier than ever” fourth season). After a solid ep, we’re treated to a Godfather-esque (yes, I used that term in reference to Smallville) montage of two evil fathers doing their thang. As Pa Luthor gets a prison-issue head-shave to the strains of Motzart’s “Requiem,” Chloe gets blowed up, Lex is poisoned, Jor-El sets fire to the Kent farm and pulls Clark into, um, a big S-shaped shield thing. Trust me, it looks cool. This montage is so good (or, at least, so uncharacteristically good for this show) that TWOP recreates it shot for shot.

7. Friends - “The One Where Rachel Finds Out”
Season One Finale
Ross and Not Rachel.

“It’s for the museum. Someone found a bone. We want the bone. They don’t want us to have the bone. I’m going to try to persuade them to give us the bone. It’s a whole big bone thing.”

Try to remember back when people actually cared what happened with Ross and Rachel. It’s called the mid-90’s. I was at Senior Week in Myrtle Beach. Parties and drinks outside, and we were all crammed into someone’s hotel room to watch the season finale of Friends. I regret nothing. It wasn’t so much the “oh, crap, he’s with someone else” finale that did it. It’s more the moment in the title. To be precise, it’s Chandler’s reaction to his flub. Some of the best acting Matthew Perry’s done. Let’s journey back via tv.com, shall we?

(Ross bought Rachel an expensive pin for her birthday)
Monica: I can’t believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Chandler: (Panicked) Ahem… um… Crystal duck.
Rachel: No, no, no… the, um, the… “love” part?
Chandler: (Stuttering incoherently) F-hah… flennin…
Rachel: Oh… my God.
Chandler: (Rubbing his temples) Oh, no-no-no-no-no…
Joey: That’s good, just keep rubbing your head. That’ll turn back time.

Yup, the juice in that relationship was good for at least another half season before they started annoying the crap out of us.

6. 24 - “11:00 P.M.-12:00 A.M.”
Season One Finale

“I’m leaving now Teri. Someone will find you soon.”

Okay, if you haven’t seen this episode, and you have no idea why it would be on this list, stop reading now. In a moment that would pretty much define the tone of 24 for the rest of its surprisingly long life, one of the main characters dies in literally the last seconds of the first season. This sets up three themes for 24 which recur until this day (especially last season).

1. No one is safe. Except maybe Kiefer. Though even he died in season two. And Spawn. She’s like Lana. Too stupid to live. Too sexy to die.

2. Even after all the bad guys are caught, there are still more higher up on the food chain still at large.

3. Kiefer can never, ever be happy.

The masterstroke? The silent countdown to 12:00 A.M. A move they wouldn’t pull again until season five, when everybody on the show dies. Except freakin’ Spawn.

5. Cheers - “An Old Fashioned Wedding”
Season Ten Finale

“Calling Dr. Daniels, Dr. Jack Daniels.”

Not only my favorite Cheers season finale, but my favorite Cheers ep overall (and series creator James Burrows’ as well). In a special hour-long finale, Woody marries Kelly. Now, most wedding episodes of sitcoms suck ass. But this one avoids many of the pitfalls of your typical wedding ep because we never actually see the wedding. They don’t even walk down the aisle until the final moments (and you don’t see that either). With the exception of an opening act at the bar, the entire episode takes place in the kitchen of the Gaines household. There are several running gags involving all the things that are going wrong before the wedding, each handled with peak physical and verbal comedy from everyone involved. One of the funniest hours I’ve ever watched.

4. 21 Jump Street - “Loc’d Out (Part Two)”
Season Three Finale

“Never wait alone in a parked car at night. It’s like painting a bulls-eye on your head.”

One of the best story arcs in a time when that wasn’t all the rage just yet. Hanson is accused of a killing a cop and, for all he knows, he really did it. Even when it looks like he might get off (thanks to some perjury by his partner) the good ol’ murder-felony rule kicks in and his ass goes in the hole. The season ends with Hanson behind bars and Ioki in a coma. May not seem like much now, but at a time when all problems were usually solved by the end of an episode (not to mention two) this was a pretty big deal. Not to mention these eps were unusually well-written for a show that usually erred on the side of shrill. Dealing with gang violence, they somehow managed to hold it together. Credit James Wong and Glen Morgan, who would go on to write some of the better X-Files.

And if you know why I picked that quote, you are truly a 21 Jump Street geek, and I applaud you (even as I weep shamefully).

3. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - “Graduation Day (2)”
Season Three Finale
Best. Villain. Ever.

“It has begun. My destiny. It’s a little sooner than I expected. I had this whole section on civic pride. But I guess we’ll just skip to the big finish.”

This was a tough call. Season two of Buffy is one of the best seasons of television period, with one of the best villains and story arcs. However, season three just about matched it and pound for pound the season three finale is bigger and badder. Or maybe it’s just that I saw season three first and am more sentimental. A lot of it, regardless, is best. villain. ever. Mayor Richard Wilkins III (Harry Groener, who would go on to the much less juicy role of Secretary of Agriculture on The West Wing). He’s the kind of bad guy who implores his vampire hordes to refrain from foul language while assaulting the graduating class. The above quote, as you might imagine, belongs to him.

This was also a series-changing finale in ways the season two finale wasn’t. It was the last with Angel (even though Buffy killed him at the end of season two). It was the end of high school. And it was, by most accounts, the last great season. The sound of Buffy arriving at college was, more or less, the sound of the show jumping the shark.

2. CSI - “Grave Danger”
Season Five Finale

“That’s it, Nicky. Stay still. They won’t bite. As much.”

You know what you do when your show is in danger of losing relevance and falling into a routine pattern of crime-solving doldrums? You hire Quentin Tarantino, that’s what. He wrote the story for and directed (getting an emmy nod for the latter) this two-hour-long episode that finds Nick trapped in a coffin à la Uma in Kill Bill, but his ass ain’t punchin’ his way outta this shit. Tarantino finds exquisite ways to ratchet up the tension from devious contraptions inside the coffin to the simple terror of ants! in a coffin! and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.

Right up until the last minute it really doesn’t look like Nicky’s gonna make it, and every sigh of relief is followed just as quickly by a gasp of holy-shit-they’re-fucked. All of this is sold by George Eads’ powerful performance which is just the right balance of freak out and controlled terror. I’ve never been this into an episode of television much less an episode of CSI.

Oh, and being a Tarantino ep, there’s an extended discussion of the Dukes of Hazzard board game. That’s the topper.

1. Star Trek: The Next Generation - “The Best of Both Worlds (Part One)”
Season Three Finale

“I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life, as it has been, is over. From this point forward, you will service…us.”

Okay, I know I said I’d lie and say something else was my favorite so it would be a surprise. But that was just a ruse. This really is my favorite. And how couldn’t it be? On a show that came off as, well, kind of wussy in sci-fi action terms, Star Trek: TNG always managed to bring it when it came to the Borg, one of the best villains in sci-fi history. And when they assimilated Picard, the fearless, indomitable leader? Game over, man! But wait, is that Riker’s music I hear playing? Never one of my favorite characters, he still managed to have an ace up his sleeve when confronting his former captain-turned-cyborg. Some specially modified laser or some shit. It’s not important. What is important is right after Picard/Locutus gives the above quote on the viewscreen with the Enterprise and Borg ships face-to-face Riker says one final word to end the season: “Fire!”

Have a nice summer!

Holy crap, man! I’m supposed to wait three months to find out what happened with that shit? You gotta be kidding me! And that’s exactly the feeling a good season finale should leave you with. And this one delivered that in spades. When a season finale stirs up enough anticipation to get you excited about something that’s not going to happen for three months to the point where you remember fondly that moment when the season ended, it’s done something right. Especially today, when there is less and less you have to wait for in entertainment.

So, that’s it. I’m actually working on a much bigger list I’ll announce later (in the vein of my character actors list of yesteryear). Oh, and that Walken list I promised, like, a year ago? I’ll get right on that. Promise.

Okay, I can’t find this on the web anywhere, which is shocking if it’s true, but for now we’ll relegate this to Comicon rumor. Apparently, at the Snakes on a Plane panel at Comicon (of course there was one), one shrewd fan asked Sam Jackson if he felt that the snakes they’d just watched in a clip deserved to die. In what may be the most perfect moment to come out of this whole thing, Jackson responded:

“Yes they deserved to die! And I hope they burn in hell!”

Even if the movie never comes out, that was worth it.

Region 1 DVD Releases for July 26th, 2006

Some excellent animated television starts us off this week…

Animaniacs, Vol. 1

After the far-better-than-expected Tiny Toons, Spielberg and Warners struck again with actual Warner Brothers - Yakko, Wacko and their sister Dot, along with a crazy supporting cast (including Pinky and the Brain, whose spin-off also drops this week), spawning such priceless episodes as a take-off on Apocalypse Now and a Who’s On First routine at Woodstock involving The Who, The Band and Yes. “Anvilania” may be my favorite. No idea which 25 eps are in this five-disc set, but you can pretty much randomly sample the show and come up with good things.

The Boondocks - The Complete First Season

One of the funniest shows on television - and one of the most politically charged. Keep an ear out for Sam Jackson voicing a white guy. Extras include commentary by series/strip creator Aaron McGruder; commentary by Uncle Ruckus, one of the greatest characters in Adult Swim’s history; deleted scenes; behind-the-scenes; unaired promos and, perhaps the most boring extra on any cartoon DVD, animatics.

Final Destination 3 (Widescreen 2-Disc Special Edition)

Because it really does take two discs to truly appreciate the third installment of a series in which teens are stalked by freak accidents. This includes filmmakers’ commentary, an interactive feature that allows you to decide the fate of the characters (I vote for “They all die on the roller coaster at the beginning.”), extra scenes, alternate endings, a ten part documentary (let me repeat that: a ten part documentary for Final Destination 3, not Ben Hur, Final Destination 3), a featurette on the “sub-genre” known as the teen horror flick (I tend to think of that as the main vein of horror, but whatever), an animated short and, because there wasn’t room for it in the ten part documentary, a documentary on the making of the roller coaster.

Chappelle’s Show - The Lost Episodes (Uncensored)

This is sort of depressing. First of all, Dave didn’t want this stuff aired in the first place, so I almost feel guilty watching it. What’s more, it’s just not as funny as the more polished sketches of the, you know, finished seasons that had his full involvement. Still, Charlie Murphy and Ashy Larry do a decent job of introducing the sketches, which are very funny. But at only three episodes, I can only imagine this leaving you wanting more.

Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story

This fake docu about a disgraced paintball champion played by Rob Corddry is proof that straight-to-DVD is no guarantee of suckage. It’s actually very funny and boasts a strong supporting cast, including fellow Daily Show correspondent Ed Helms. Probably more deserving of a theatrical release than, say, The Benchwarmers, which also comes out this week. Extras include commentary by Corddry and co-stars, a separate commentary track by the filmmakers, outtakes, deleted scenes and Bobby Duke’s Video Diary, which looks to be the best extra in the bunch.

Update: More here

Pirates is still number one after three weeks. It is now the 16th-highest grossing film of all time. What did you do in the last 16 days?

I greatly overestimated the take of everything that came out this weekend, though I was kind of happy to see Clerks II edge out My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

Clerks II, by the way, better than Mallrats (which I liked), but not as good as Clerks, Dogma or Chasing Amy. Probably on a par with Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to see Jersey Girl.

Wide

MIAMI VICE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
It’s been twenty years and still there’s drugs and prostitution in Miami. Those guys are fucking up.

WILL IT SUCK?
Michael Mann has built up a hell of a lot of good will with me over the course of Manhunter, The Insider, Heat and Collateral, to name a few. Here he’s dealing with his own baby. And I actually like the casting of Farrell and Fox, though the former is resembling Treat Williams more and more with each film. And “verboten” does not mean what the teaser thinks it means. (Even if he’s actually saying “foreboding,” still doesn’t mean that.)

Early buzz is actually pretty good.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Talladega Nights will be an issue the following week, but this weekend it should own. $97mil.

THE ANT BULLY

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Ants get revenge on some kid who’s been bullying them by shrinking him down to their size.

WILL IT SUCK?
I have to give writer/director John A. Davis credit. He’s done some of the better CG animated flicks of the past few years. He did the surprisingly good Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius and the hilarious short Santa Claus vs. the Snowman. So for that reason only I have some faith in this project. Other than that, I’m tired of seeing trailers for CG films where animals get back at The Man (Over the Hedge, Barnyard, Open Season and this, for starters).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Comes in the middle of a three-week assault of CG animation (with Barnyard bowing the following week). Nobody likes the middle child. $62mil.

JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Three high school girls seek revenge on the boy who done them wrong. Opportunities for vaguely lesbian titilation ensue.

WILL IT SUCK?
This movie doesn’t look…oh, what’s the word?…good. Betty Thomas directs, and when she’s not making movies about Howard Stern (Private Parts), she’s making I Spy.

By the way, I think this is the first time the official website for a film is its MySpace page. Correct me if I’m wrong. (In fact, each of the main four girls in the film has their own page. Think they’ll do this for All the Kings Men?)

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This will be another victim of the overcomedification of the summer. On the other hand, it’s taking a long time for those MySpace pages to load. $39mil.

Limited

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Sort of an indie National Lampoon’s Vacation.

WILL IT SUCK?
I’ve waxed poetic about it here. But the bottom line is that this is the good shit.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little competition from Woody Allen, but not much. Probably one of the bigger indies of the summer. $14mil.

SCOOP

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
In a weird sort of mix of Match Point and Ghost Dad, Scarlett Johansson is led by Ian McShane, in spirit form, to track down a charming Brit (Hugh Jackman) who might be a killer.

WILL IT SUCK?
Woody Allen doesn’t exactly suck. He turns in “meh” from time to time, but he rarely flat-out sucks. Will this be as good as say, Match Point? Probably not.

Early buzz is putting this solidly in the “meh” category.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
“Meh” Woody just doesn’t cut it box office-wise. Especially with Little Miss Sunshine out there. $5mil.

BROTHERS OF THE HEAD

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Don’t call it a mockumentary. Fake doc about a pair of conjoined-twin punk rock stars.

WILL IT SUCK?
It really isn’t a mockumentary (even Christopher Guest hates that term). It’s a fairly somber tale of exploitation and the typical roller coaster of fame that is rock stardom with the twist of the leads being conjoined (makes things real uncomfortable if, say, they both like the same girl but she only wants to do one of them - and does). Directed (very well, I might add) by the pair behind Lost in La Mancha. Well worth checking out, if only for the kick-ass soundtrack. More here if you scroll down.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It’s not so much the competition as the fact that nobody knows about this film and those that do don’t care. Interesting note: Fuse bought the TV rights. This does not make Pants Off Dace Off any classier. $1mil.

ANOTHER GAY MOVIE

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Gay American Pie

WILL IT SUCK?
It’s painful. I actually saw a script reading for this film, and that was funnier. The only thing still funny about it when it reached the screen was Scott Thompson, but he’s only in a handful of scenes. The rest just hurts. More here.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not so well. With the number of walkouts I saw at the preview screening, buzz is likely to be poor, and you really need word-of-mouth on a project like this. $250,000.

AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Doc about a guy who goes in search of the law that mandates income tax and finds that America is not so much anymore with the civil liberties.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is not so good. Apparently makes a better argument for the income tax thing than the civil liberties thing.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I think the income tax angle will turn off a lot of people, even some liberals. In fact, it will turn on some libertarian conservatives who might then be turned off by the America Doesn’t Rock angle, but then again, if they’re libertarians, they’ll be all about the civil liberties…so…I guess my bullet point here is that this will only appeal to libertarians, and there are only so many of those. $500,000.

Next Week: The best horror film of the year. Seriously.

Update: My Lady in the Water review is up here.

Harsh Times

I’ve been waiting for this one for a looong time. David Ayer, who between writing Training Day and the underrated Dark Blue has become a James Ellroy for modern-day Los Angeles, is writing and directing this time out. Check out Christian Bale in full-on American Psycho mode. And Freddie Rodriguez has been just itching for a breakout role, and this looks like it could be it.

The Prestige

I knew Chris Nolan was working on something in between Batmen, but I didn’t know he was all done and shit. I don’t know which movie about turn-of-the-century magicians is going to turn out better, but trailer-wise, this kicks The Illusionist’s ass.

Renaissance

Best-looking trailer of the week.

The Science of Sleep

This is a very cool trailer, and I’m psyched to see anything Michel Gondry and/or Gael Garcia Bernal is up to, but it also kind of looks like a feature-length version of Gondry’s “Walkie Talkie Man” video - which is fine.

TMNT

How wrong is it that this actually looks better than the Transformers teaser?

Am I the only one who’s addicted to this?

And tell me the host isn’t what would happen if Bob Costas swallowed Jeff Goldblum.

The most embarassing moment for me was when the category was “Steven Spielberg Films” and I got two wrong. Yes, I forgot the name of the boat in Jaws and the name of the national monument in Close Encounters. And you know I would have been the guy they sent up for that category. I would have insisted. So sad.

I am, of course, rooting for Almost Perfect Strangers, the team created entirely from the Internet.

My Lady in the Water review will come out on Friday. But in the meantime, there are a few things I just couldn’t fit in to 600 words. I suppose it’s to the film’s credit that it gave me a lot to talk about. It’s not to its credit that its not all good.

- M. Night should stop casting himself. Seriously.

- The film is a little scary. But only if you avoid trailers.

- M. Night has a knack for action sequences. Whatever rumors were floating around about him working on an Indy screenplay might have actually produced something good.

- Though he throws in some nice po-mo touches, he handles the bit with the critic (you’ll know what I mean if you see the movie) very sloppily. He should have had Kevin Williamson write that scene.

- Although visually it’s on a par with any Shaymalan effort (thanks, in part, to Chris Doyle, DP on Hero and 2046), he inserts, for the first time, some really crappy camera effects. You know the ones you see sometimes in trailers where the camera will speed up suddenly and jerkily for no good reason? Or the video slo-mo which creates an almost pixilated version of real slo-mo? Not good times.

- As with Signs, he manages to keep the action largely to one locale without losing interest. Or, more to the point, its not the fact that we never change setting that’s to blame when the tension suffers. Very Rear Window (or Lifeboat or Rope for that matter).

- There’s a whole element of having to approach the story as a child (which is personified by Giamatti in one of his best scenes) which is woven quite nicely into the subtext, but a child-like state of acceptance on the audience’s part does not excuse a lack of storytelling finesse on the filmmaker’s part. In other words, you can’t be cheesy just because we’re trusting. You can tell a children’s story without insulting the audience’s intelligence. You can even make it meta. Just look at the best post-modern kid’s film of all time: The Muppet Movie.

- I liked it better than The Village but not nearly as much as any other Shyamalan film.

I’ll post a link to the full review on Friday.

This week, some television you may have missed the first time around…

The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. - The Complete Series

This brilliant-but-cancelled series combined the genius of Bruce Campbell and the pseudo-sci-fi/western mashup sensibility of Wild Wild West. See Billy Drago in his other great role (he was Frank Nitti in The Untouchables) and Julius Carry in his other great role (he was Sho-Nuff in The Last Dragon). Hear one of my favorite snippets of prime time dialogue: “Sorry, Dixie, but existential thought doesn’t hold much water out here in the territories.”

Incidentally, the dearly departed Jeffrey Boam (the talent behind such action scripts as Lethal Weapon II and Indy III) was one of the co-creators.

This well-tricked-out 8-disc collection (apparently there were 27 episodes, who knew?) includes commentary by Bruce Campbell and show co-creator Carlton Cruse on the pilot; “Brisco’s Book of Coming Things,” which catalogs the show’s various references to future items and ideas; a doc; a roundtable; liner notes by Bruce and something called “A Reading from the Book of Bruce.”

Amazing Stories - The Complete First Season

As big a Speilberg nut as I am know, I was even more ridiculous in my youth. So when I found out he was putting together a television show, I went reliably ape shit. I wasn’t disappointed (at least not with the first season). I still remember the theme song and the now cheesy-ass graphics in the opening credits. Anyway, the first season featured such classics as…

“The Main Attraction” - Hilarious story about a magnetized guy. Written by Incredibles maestro Brad Bird.

“The Mission” - Gunner gets trapped in the belly of his plane. With Kevin Costner, Kiefer Sutherland and an extremely schmaltzy dénouement. Directed by Señor Spielbergo himself.

“Vanessa in the Garden” - I remember it being only an OK ep, but written by Spielberg, directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Harvey Keitel. That just doesn’t happen every day.

“The Sitter” - Babysitting, voodoo and a very young Seth Green.

“No Day at the Beach” - Basically a preview of Saving Private Ryan.

“Mirror, Mirror” - If I remember correctly, this one’s actually pretty creepy. Directed by Marty Scorsese.

“Hell Toupee” - My favorite title of any Amazing Story. Pretty funny, too.

In the end, the show ended up being the warmer, fuzzier cousin of the Twilight Zone resurrection that was going on simultaneously on another network, but it still stands out as a showcase for name actors and directors trying their hand at the short form.

The only extras are 20 minutes of deleted scenes. Maybe that’s why this is only half the price of the Brisco County collection.

Tsotsi

Simply one of the best movies of the year. I know it’s a little early to say that, but it’ll be hard to knock out of the top ten at this point. Unless, of course, My Super Ex-Girlfriend is sooo much better than I think it will be. You can read my full thoughts on this Academy Award Winner for Best Foreign Flick here.

Extras include commentary from writer/director Gavin Hood (who I can assure you is an engaging speaker), deleted scenes, alternate endings, a short film from the director, a making-of featurette and a music video (the soundtrack, by the way, kicks ass).

ATL

Kind of like Boyz N the Hood, but in the South. Or, perhaps, like Roll Bounce, but with guns. Extras include a T.I. music video, extra scenes and a featurette.

She’s the Man

Believe it or not, this Amanda Bynes vehicle is a reimagining of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. In the tradition of Ten Things I Hate About You being a rework of Taming of the Shrew, I suppose. Ten Things, however, got better reviews.

Extras include commentary from Bynes, among others, deleted scenes, a featurette about Bynes’ cross-dressing (it’s Twelfth Night, remember?), a gag reel, a music video (do all DVD’s have them now?), a cast photo album and - a feature I’d like to see on all DVD’s - pop-up trivia. Call it the Pop-Up Video fan in me.

Update: More here.