That’s the title of my latest E-Gear post, edited to change one line: “…haggling over consent for online clips is one the dumbest ideas in the history of contract negotiations.” was originally “…haggling over consent for online clips is one the dumbest fucking ideas in the history of dumb fucking ideas.”
When I think of Sidney Pollack, the first film that comes to mind is not a movie that most people associate with him – Three Days of the Condor. That’s probably because, being an actioner, it’s the most up my alley. But more than that, it demonstrates Pollack’s range.
Even though he was, as a storyteller, clearly character-driven (or perhaps because of that) he was able to bring an intensity to the action, pace and stakes of that movie with a little prescient geo-political tension for good measure. I don’t think range is something most people associate with him as a director, but you try making that and Tootsie.
He will be missed.
The big winner here is Paramount, who began the month with Iron Man and closes it now with the second biggest Memorial Day weekend open in history (behind Pirates 3, if you’re keeping count). Probably a good thing, since all they’ve got left this summer is The Love Guru.
5/30
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Carrie gets ready to marry Mr. Big. And some other stuff happens to those other chicks, too, probably.
WILL IT SUCK?
Looks like they’ve chosen wisely for their writer/director. Michael Patrick King has written all the season finales and premieres for the show since Season Two, and directed a boatload of eps, too. Oh, and looks like Jennifer Hudson’s made a smart choice for her Dreamgirls follow-up.
Early buzz is mixed, probably due to the Prince Caspian-esque two-and-a-half-hour run time.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Pay attention romcoms, this is how you do summer counterprogramming. $88mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman vs. things that go bump in the woods outside their cottage.
WILL IT SUCK?
Remake of French horror film Ils, also based on a true story. Do French horror remakes work out better than J-Horror remakes (or American horror remakes, for that matter)?
Early buzz is actually pretty good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
In spite of Prom Night, I’m not predicting big things for horror this summer. $19mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A martial arts parody that would be right at home on Funny Or Die, which is exactly where you’ll find the red band trailer.
WILL IT SUCK?
Some of you may have seen Danny R. McBride’s weird-ass in-character guest spot on Conan. Well, this is that same character. Early buzz is really, really good. By the way, this is the first theatrical release from Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s new production company.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
An indie comedy with bigger star power (The Promotion) opens the very next week. $2mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Julianne Moore plays real-life socialite Barbara Baekeland, who was murdered by her son after they had an affair.
WILL IT SUCK?
With Swoon director Tom Kalin at the helm and legendary indie producer Christine Vachon on board, expect a non-exploitative treatment of the story. Don’t expect much more, though, given the early tepid buzz.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Controversy might be good for an open, but bad buzz will kill it after that. $1mil.
Next Week: What’s funnier, Adam Sandler or a panda? Wait! Before you answer, they’re both doing kung fu.
4. The Matrix Reloaded – Freeway Chase
“You always told me to stay off the freeway.”
Andy and Larry Wachowski’s 2003 sequel to their 1999 classic may not have launched itself into the action canon with the furor of its predecessor, but it certainly matched its ambition for groundbreaking action. This sequence is a prime example, combining what are arguably the three fundamental action sequence forms – gunfight, fistfight and chase – into one blistering set piece.
Beginning with a gorgeous weapons battle (not an official part of the sequence, but still awesome) the Wachowskis launch us into a car chase that includes some of the most exquisite slow-motion tableaux ever committed to film. There are probably twice as many of these shots as necessary, but they’re still beautiful.
The sequence makes the most of not taking place in the real world to the same extent that sequences like this one make the most of “keeping it real.” This allows the Wachowskis to include villains like the Twins, making the action all the more creative for having straight-razor-wielding psychos phasing in and out of cars in the middle of a high speed chase.
This leads to a nice moment of internal/external jeopardy as our heroes fight one twin inside their car (using a seatbelt for defense with MacGyverish ingenuity) while agents chase (and ultimately pounce upon) them outside.
That simultaneous struggle emerges from the relative complexity of the sequence’s premise. Our heroes try to evade (a) two phase-shifting killers, (b) two super-powered agents, (c) the cops and (d) all the innocent bystanders, any of whom could accidentally run them over or morph into (b).
It all culminates in one fabulous bullet-time shot, a bigger-budget progression of the vision-warping technology introduced in the original.
For all of its achievements, the scene still suffers from some of the shortcomings that hamper the rest of the film. Link’s audience-proxy exclamations are, for example, a bit much.
The story of the creation of this sequence is pretty amazing, involving a fruitless search for a freeway that could be shut down for 10 weeks leading to the decision to build a mile-and-a-half long freeway in Alameda. I recommend the featurette devoted to the subject on the Matrix Reloaded Bonus Disc.
Now with Spanish subtitles! ¡Excelente!
Part One:
Part Two:
And, just for fun, that weapons battle I mentioned:
See also: Minivan freeway chase in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, big-ass truck accident freeway chase in To Live and Die in L.A., remote control freeway chase in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines.
Next: The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire.
Here’s my Filmcritic.com review of A Necessary Death, which I raved about at SXSW.
Here are my previously posted video and podcast interviews with the director and cinematographer.
Expectations for the latest installment of the Indiana Jones franchise probably range from Phantom Menace to Last Crusade (I’m not sure anybody really expects it to match the quality of Raiders). As it happens, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull hits neither of these extremes. Instead, it simply fulfills the promise of your garden variety action blockbuster.
I won’t say much about the plot, except to note that the fretted-over genre-mixing hinted at in recent trailers does not detract. It’s more that the overall plot seems a little less thought out than in Raiders or Crusade. It’s as if, at certain points, the filmmakers just decided, “And then some stuff happens,” or “And then he gets attacked by some guys. It’s not important who, or why. Um, moving on…”
Other than that, the screenplay, by Spider-Man (and, to be fair, Lost World) scribe David Koepp keeps the plot moving and works well on a scene-by-scene basis with banter that almost lives up to the sharp dialogue of Jeffery Boam’s Crusade script. The robust chemistry between the leads helps.
The action sequences themselves are good-but-not-great. The set pieces of the first three rank among the best ever committed to film, and while Crystal Skull’s are no slouch, they lack that extra burst of creativity and intensity that put their predecessors over the top.
The movie’s biggest drawback (and the biggest drawback of most of the franchise’s installments, frankly) is the villain. Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) comes off as cartoony even in the crazy-no-way world of Indiana Jones caricatures. And Irina’s spoiler-riffic talent never really gets used in any interesting way.
All of this may seem like I’m slamming the film, when I’m really just trying to temper expectations. It’s actually a very fun, highly recommended ride. But it’s almost impossible to not measure it against its forerunners; and on that count, I’d rank it somewhere between Last Crusade and Temple of Doom, but much closer to Last Crusade.
I have no qualms about calling Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade classics of the action genre. I can’t really make that claim for Crystal Skull, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a solid adventure flick. Enjoy.
I was ready to say “Ouch!” to Caspian’s $56.6 million take, but then I was reminded that part one debuted at less than $10 million more before going on to gross over $291 million domestic. On the other hand, the first one was released around Christmastime without a ridiculously powerful franchise debuting one week later.
5/23
Wide
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Indiana Jones does some shit. You watch.
WILL IT SUCK?
Before seeing it, my thought was that given the talent involved (David Koepp is solid, but he’s no Lawrence Kasdan) it would be unlikely that the film could be as good as we want it to be or as bad we fear it to be. That’s pretty much how it turned out.
It is not the disaster we fear it to be, nor is it exactly Last Crusade, either.
Dr. Wife put it pretty succinctly when she said that if you just look at it as an action film, it’s good, but it suffers by comparison to the better angels of the franchise.
Put another way, I’d rank it between Last Crusade and Temple of Doom, but much closer to Last Crusade.
Put yet another way, go see it. You’ll have a good time. But don’t expect one of the greatest action films of all time.
I’ll be posting a more detailed review later.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It doesn’t matter what the critics think, and they won’t exactly be condemning it. The tracking for this is sick. Given the Thursday open before a three day weekend, they’re expecting a five-day haul on the order of $150 million. In the final analysis, I’ll be very surprised if this doesn’t land in the top three for the year, if not number one. $325mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
True story of a guy who took 60 orphans up the Silk Road to save them from the advancing Japanese army during WWII.
WILL IT SUCK?
From director Roger Spottiswoode, who’s done everything from And the Band Played On to Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Ironically, the last time he worked with Michelle Yeoh, who’s up in here with John Rhys-Meyers, Rhada Mitchell and Chow Yun Fat, she was riding a motorcycle with Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies. Early buzz is good, so maybe this is closer to And the Band Played On.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A big hit in China, but not so sure that will translate here. $6mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Thank You For Warring
WILL IT SUCK?
A lot of people are calling this Grosse Point Blank 2 because it has a similar cast in similar roles with a similar plot (expanded to a full out war instead of just discrete hits) but I get the feeling this isn’t going to be quite as subtle. Some decent writers, including John Cusack, who plays a morally conflicted hitman, again. I get the feeling that it’s a great idea that won’t get the right execution, and the early buzz seems to confirm that instinct.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The cast will give it some juice, but the word of mouth will limit its run. $8mil.
Next Week: A summer blockbuster for the ladies.
5. Hard Boiled – Teahouse Shootout
(Image reversed for reasons beyond comprehension.)
“We got some great birds.”
The blistering opening sequence to John Woo’s 1992 masterpiece represents the gold standard for Hong Kong gunplay. But it adheres to universal principles that heighten all action sequences.
The first principle is the slow build. The movie begins with jazz. Jazz! Our main characters are two members of a trio we see playing in a club as issues of Exposition Weekly fade into view lamenting rampant gun running that’s ruining Hong Kong. Our hero, Tequila (Chow Yun Fat – De Niro to Woo’s Scorsese), plays the clarinet. The clarinet! We are not expecting this guy to kick anyone’s ass.
We are then taken to a teahouse, a fairly innocuous setting made even more so by the Chinese tradition of bringing in birds (tying in nicely to Woo’s bird obsession). This tradition, incidentally, stopped a number of years ago. Three guesses as to why. But the dulcet tones of birds chirping lay the incongruous groundwork for what will soon be a cacophony of gunfire.
This particular teahouse, it should be noted, is the sole reason this sequence exists. Woo didn’t have a script when he shot this. He didn’t even have a story. And as that is often the problem with most action movies, here it doesn’t seem to matter.
Woo and his crew heard that this location, the historic Wun Loi Dai Cha Lau teahouse in Mong Kok, was about to be torn down. This meant two things. One, they had the opportunity to preserve it on film. Two, they could completely fuck it up without having to worry about putting it back together when they were done.
So, without a script or a story, they just walked in, looked around, and figured it out. As soon as Woo saw the stairway leading up to the teahouse, he envisioned Chow Yun Fat’s historic two-fisted slide down the banister. That’s right. One of the most iconic images in Hong Kong cinema history was made up on the fly.
Another fundamental action principle Woo exploits adeptly here is the power of the moving camera. In a word, Woo’s cinema is kinetic. He never uses a still shot when a moving one will do. And even the pace of the movement within the frame is up for grabs. He’ll cut to slo-mo without missing a beat, or even slow the action down within the same shot. For him, slow motion is not some gimmick. It’s as much a part of the language as the close-up.
It should come as no surprise that Woo was a talented dancer in his youth. To him, action choreography really is choreography. And he dances with his cinematographer as much as his stunt coordinator. As in the greatest movie musicals, the camera dances as skillfully as the dancers themselves. That the term “bullet ballet” was popularized in reference to Woo’s oeuvre is no coincidence.
While moving the camera is hardly new, Woo was one of the first to really bring it to this kind of action sequence. Spielberg’s fairly staid camera in the nonetheless stellar shootout in Raiders comes to mind. Another relatively fresh element Woo brings is the myth of the bulletproof bystander. In most movie shootouts, the crowd is immune when lead gets sprayed. Peckinpah helped to corrode this convention, but Woo just tears it to shreds. Instead of the cliché of the bad guy pushing people out of the way as he runs, he shoots them out of the way. A lot.
One cliché Woo does not improve upon is the partner signing his death warrant by talking about his family while the hero encourages him to get out of town. He might as well say he’s just bought a new boat called the Live-4-Ever.
And now for a bit of completely unsubstantiated film theory: Tequila’s pancaked face at the end represents the identity confusion inherent in the film (vis a vis Tony Leung), echoing the identity confusion inherent in Hong Kong at the time, as it was five years shy of being handed back to China from Britain. So Tequila is, for a moment, British on the surface but Chinese beneath.
Okay, I’ll stop that now.
See also: The rest of Hard Boiled, bar shootout in Desperado, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” sequence in Face/Off, all of The Killer.
Next: The highest-ranking sequence from a non-classic on this list.
Some shoutouts to my peeps who have cause to be congratulated.
Josh’s book is out. I’ve already picked up a copy. Haven’t started it yet, but I can tell you the back cover looks like the bottom of a videocassette and that is awesome.
My friend Amber is now Dr. Watts. She got her PhD from, oh, what’s the name of that podunk, little place in Chicago – oh, that’s right, NORTHWESTERN! She’s wicked smaht. Her dissertation was on schadenfreude in reality television. I hope she turns it into a book like Dr. Greenberg did.
And Baratunde finally got his first Onion headline, and it’s a winner.
And congratulations to Matthew Broderick for rocking the season finale of 30 Rock. I don’t know him, but that doesn’t make his performance kick any less ass.
