Before we finish out the 50 Greatest Action Sequences, let’s take a moment to recognize the work of an actor who has established himself as a modern action icon.

And let’s simultaneously give loyal reader Newtlet her prize for winning the Denzel Washington trivia contest.

Jason Statham: A Filmography

Women want him. Men…yeah, I’d do him. But what’s most interesting about Statham is that he fits into the Chuck Norris mold of action iconography (put bluntly, the white guy who knows kung-fu) in an age where Chuck Norris is only enjoyed ironically. But Statham love is irony free. He’s one of the few viable images of traditional American masculinity (without virtue of being American, mind you) in an age of vulnerable geek heroism.

It helps that he started out with some indie cred. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch introduced us to, not an action hero, but a crime hero. What’s more, they gave us characters (well, character, it’s essentially the same guy in both) who got by on wits, not fists. So, we got to know Statham The Mind before Statham The Body (though, admit it, you were looking at The Body the whole time).

Aside from a forgotten role in a forgotten film his next appearance would be his first in a Big Hollywood Film, if a John Carpenter sci-fi thriller really counts. But hey, he’d arrived. The One would then introduce him to the action genre proper, though Jet Li would do most of the heavy lifting.

Next came Mean Machine, a Brit Longest Yard that would reunite him with Lock, Stock alums Vinnie Jones and Jason Fleyming – and have no other notable qualities whatsoever.

Next came Statham’s chance to prove he could carry a film (and a small Asian woman). While it didn’t quite afford him the opportunity to traffic in the snappy repartee of his Guy Ritchie films, The Transporter did afford him the opportunity to kick lots and lots of ass. Finally that martial arts background would pay off. The film established that Statham could both fight and drive like a motherfucker. This would become important later.

The Italian Job, which finally put him onscreen with some B+ list stars, continued the development of Pole Position Statham.

Collateral began his love affair with one word titles that begin with the letter “C.” It also put him onscreen with Tom Cruise for like, two seconds, and kids, there was a time when that was a good thing for your career.

Cellular gave him the chance to play a villain. And use a cell phone. One imagines.

Transporter 2 proved that he could still kick ass, not that that really needed proving, and that he could open a sequel.

Revolver, um, really wasn’t his fault.

London saw him return to the indie Brit scene without anyone really noticing.

Chaos continued the C-word meme while simultaneously proving he could do straight-to-DVD with the best of them. The best of them in this case being Ryan Phillipe and Wesley Snipes.

Statham then appeared briefly in The Pink Panther reboot, but the less time spent in that film the better.

See? Even Dwight Yoakam can’t keep his eyes off the awesomeness that is Statham.

Crank saw him back in the lead, mingling the fuck you swagger of his early films with the fuck you kicky-punchy of his later films. The movie itself was, shall we say, problematic (or, put another way, xenophobic and misogynistic like an issue of Maxim circulated exclusively in the Red States) but Statham sunk his teeth into it, solidifying his rep as an action star for August/September if not June/July just yet.

The following August he was in War, showing his progress from supporting player to co-star in a Jet Li film.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale demonstrated that, sooner or later, everyone ends up in a Uwe Boll film. I would call this a low point for Statham, but look who else was in that movie:

Ray Liotta
Leelee Sobieski
Ron Perlman
Matthew Lillard
Burt Reynolds
Kristanna Loken
Claire Forlani
John Rhys Davies (Sallah, man!)

Nobody came out clean on that one.

Next came the critically acclaimed The Bank Job which will start a new title meme for Statham when The Brazillian Job comes out next year.

What’s next for Statham? Well, he’s supposed to play a character named Frankenstein in Paul W.S. Anderson’s Death Race 2000 remake, which is called…wait for it…Death Race. Pole Position Statham lives!

Next year he’ll exploit his sequel-readiness with Transporter 3, Crank 2 and the aforementioned Brazillian (Job). But if you ask me, the next role he should play is a Bond villain. Tell me that wouldn’t rock.

I leave you with #51 in the 50 Greatest Action Sequences. From The Transporter, ladies and gentlemen, I give you…

OILY STATHAM!

I’d say the only real surprise this weekend is that Sex and the City dropped below Indiana Jones. Trying to find a way around saying I though it would have better legs than that, but it’s just not happening.

6/13

Wide

THE INCREDIBLE HULK

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
You wouldn’t like Ed Norton when he’s CG.

WILL IT SUCK?
Probably. Louis Leterrier (The Transporter flicks, Unleashed) can direct some decent action sequences, which is good considering there’s supposed to be a nearly 30 minute one at the end. Zak Penn has put his lot in with some good comic book screenplays (X2) and some bad ones (X-Men: Last Stand, Elektra).

But nothing here screams quality. At least not the quality we know comic book adaptations can achieve when a Sam Raimi, Bryan Singer or Chris Nolan, who had already proven their directing chops and then some when they answered the call, are at the helm.

That having been said, a proven Ang Lee disappointed, and an unproven Jon Favreau kind of surprised, although if you stacked his record up against Leterrier’s, I’d bet on Favreau every time.

And for all the hype about whether or not Ed Norton’s name will appear in the screenwriting credits, we really know nothing about his screenwriting chops (Although they’d better be good; he penned the Motherless Brooklyn adaptation he’s directing and starring in now).

Early buzz is sort of good.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Although it has no direct competition, I think it’s fragile enough that Love Guru and Get Smart can wipe it out the following week. This week it’ll be a battle to see whether or not Marvel or Shyamalan can produce lower expectations, but the urge to see Tony Stark’s cameo alone will probably give Hulk the bigger gross. $113mil.

THE HAPPENING

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Weird shit starts, um, titling, and it’s up to Marky Mark to get his family out alive.

WILL IT SUCK?
If you, like I, completely lost faith in M. Night after the one-two suck punch of The Village and Lady in the Water, check out the sick redband trailer for The Happening. This, in the immortal words of James Marsters on Torchwood, is gonna get nasty.

That there can even be a redband trailer for M. Night’s latest is a sign that he’s taking a different tack than his last two films. This is his first straight-up R. I know part of his early magic was the power of restraint, but damn if I ain’t curious as to what he gets up to with the gloves off.

Unfortunately, I kind of know more about the plot than I probably should, and there’s potential here for him to go cheesy/preachy in one or two different directions, but if the M. Night I know and love shows up, this could be one of his best.

I’d say the odds of that happening are about 50/50.

Oh, and it’s probably a bad sign that it’s not going to screen for critics. Although, if I were him, I probably wouldn’t screen it for critics even if I thought it was better than 6th Sense.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It’s going to take the movie after this one before people start having faith in him again. $53mil.

(For some reason, no limited releases this week.)

Next Week: The guy who disappointed last summer vs. the guy who doesn’t seem to have any new ideas.

Brett Ratner to direct Beverly Hills Cop IV.

Of course he is.

And this whole geared towards kids thing makes perfect sense as well. If you think about the career trajectory of Eddie Murphy, he’s gone from gritty (48 Hours) to fluffy (Daddy Day Care). So it’s only natural that his oldest film franchise should follow a similar path.

I’d be disappointed, but making another Beverly Hills Cop film was never going to be a good idea, no matter whom you threw at it. It’s funny, though. For once, it’s actually a bad sign that Jerry Bruckheimer (who produced the first two, but not the unspeakable third) is not involved.

While Paramount (emboldened by Indy IV‘s success) is going back to the 80′s Bruckheimer well, I’m guessing the next step would be to reboot Top Gun. Lord knows Tom Cruise could use the juice. In Top Gun, Too, Cruise would be the new Viper and have to train a younger, cockier version of himself (Shia LaBeouf, natch) as they prepare to invade Iran. Writes. It. Self.

A tongue-in-cheek remark I made to my friend Josh the other day as we reveled in Obama’s victory, which led me to this thought – just how close did we come to there being a “Black Eye for the White Guy” TV show, cos’ you know it was pitched. Come to think of it, why does that seem so much more racist than “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” ever seemed homophobic?

Sex and the City like a mofo with a Lara Croft: Tomb Raider-beating box office open of $55.7 million. Why bring up Angelina with a gun? Because the stat everyone seems excited about is that this is the biggest open ever for a film with female leads. The good news is that, yes, this probably means that the trend-driven Powers That Be will try to make more films about women for women. The bad news is that, as with most films created solely to capitalize on a trend, many of them will suck.

6/6

Wide

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
You got your Apatow in my Sandler! You got your Sandler in my Apatow!

WILL IT SUCK?
Not as much as you’d expect. Although this is the first time I’ve felt an Apatow-scripted flick was just too damn long.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With Dewey Cox and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the box office honeymoon with all things Apatow may be waning, but Sandler’s had nary a revenue misstep when he’s stuck to comedy. $111mil.

KUNG FU PANDA

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Panda learns kung fu. The title’s pretty accurate.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. The kung fu itself is supposed to be pretty kick-ass. Seemed to get a better reception at Cannes than Indiana Jones.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Nicely distanced from Wall-E. $127mil.

Limited

MONGOL

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Genghis Begins

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Nominated for a Best Foreign Film Oscar (the first time for Kazakhstan). Also won a crapload of Russia’s national film awards (the Nikas).

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Promotion is a little bit of an issue, but being around for a while seems to have only generated more buzz, not less. $2mil.

THE PROMOTION

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
John C. Reilly and Sean William Scott compete for a manager spot at a grocery store.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. The writing/directing debut of the guy who wrote The Weather Man and The Pursuit of Happyness. The always-fun Jenna Fischer co-stars and keep an eye out for Masi Oka.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Has a higher-profile cast than the previous week’s Foot Fist Way, but I’m not sure it has all that much more awareness. $6mil.

WHEN DID YOU LAST SEE YOUR FATHER?

WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Father/son drama with Colin Firth as the son and Jim Broadbent as the father.

WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Nominated for a slew of British Independent Film awards. It is said that you will cry.

HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Colin Firth’s drawing power won’t really come into play until Mama Mia! bows in July. $3mil.

Next Week: This is M. Night’s happening, and it’s freaking me out!