Gone Dark
So the move to Media, PA is in full swing, and blogging time is scarce, so I’ll leave you with this, for now - my most anticipated May 2009 release:
via Kevin
Babylon Disaster
I don’t know if it’s a sign of Tropic Thunder’s resilience or Death Race’s weakness that Thunder won the weekend. Probably more of the latter, seeing as House Bunny beat Death Race, too.
8/29
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
It’s just never going to end, is it?
WILL IT SUCK?
This is the reason Kim Kardashian was at Comic-Con.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Unfortunately, if it makes $2 they can afford to make another one. $26mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Children of Diesel
WILL IT SUCK?
Don’t get me wrong. I love Hate as much as the next guy. And that film’s director, Mathieu Kassovitz, was great in Munich. But his American directorial debut, Gothika, wasn’t Hate. This probably isn’t, either. Although it is cool to note that parkour champ David Belle choreographed some fights for stars Vin Diesel and Michelle Yeoh.
Early buzz is crappy.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Likely to suffer the same fate as dystopian debacles Ultraviolet and Doomsday. $24mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The Cheadle Identity
WILL IT SUCK?
I could watch Guy Pearce chase Don Cheadle all day (and with Neal McDonough and Jeff Daniels on board, another six hours, at least), but I wish this wasn’t from the co-writer of The Day After Tomorrow. I couldn’t watch that all day.
Early buzz is mixed.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
One hopes Cheadle could win a weekend against Diesel, crappy comedy and more crappy comedy. $28mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Three pre-froshes have themselves a little R-rated adventure during a weekend college visit.
WILL IT SUCK?
Looks to be as generic as its title. Also looks like it desperately wants to Superbad. The only interesting thing about this movie is that it was directed by a woman, which is rare in the teen-boys-trying-to-get-laid genre.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There’s no lack of stupid comedy around. $5mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Western/Samurai mash-up.
WILL IT SUCK?
Critics are split, but audiences seem to like it. From Audition maestro Takashi Miike, with a cameo by Miike fanboy Quentin Tarantino.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not much competition, but not much draw, either. I doubt this is going to get the buzz of Audition. $500,000.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Rotoscope-y Cinderella tale set in NYC Chinatown.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Won the Audience Award at the Boston Film Fest.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Don’t think anyone will hear about this. $250,000.
Next Week: Nic Cage stars in Bangkok Dangerous, which is slightly more lethal than Kuala Lumpur Dangerous but much safer than Trenton Dangerous.
The Case for Musicals
Although its domestic success has been overshadowed by The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia is doing even better business overseas. So far it’s raked in over $206 million international on top of $116 million domestic. If the reason Hollywood makes so many comedies and action films is because they translate well overseas, you have to wonder why they don’t make more musicals.
If they do well, here, they do well internationally.
Chicago: $170 million domestic. $136 million international.
Hairspray: $118 million domestic. $81 million international.
If they don’t do well here, they still do well internationally.
Phantom of the Opera: $51 million domestic. $103 million international.
Sweeney Todd: $53 million domestic. $100 million international.
And in Mamma Mia’s case, a musical did well here and even better abroad.
Suddenly, Disney’s decision to give High School Musical 3 a theatrical run makes even more sense.
I Watch Too Much TV
First of all, here’s a weird-ass reality check. By the time Lost and Battlestar Galactica start up again, I’m going to have a kid.
I’m actually kind of thankful that the writer’s strike has more or less decimated the slew of new shows that typically premiere in the fall because (a) it means shows like Pushing Daisies and Chuck are given a second chance, and (b) I’ve already got way too much on my plate this fall. To wit…
Sunday
The Simpsons and Family Guy. As it is, was and ever shall be.
Monday
It’ll be nice to come home from the first day of the work week to, like, five hours of new TV.
How I Met Your Mother
I was actually a little underwhelmed by the season finale, but I’m just as in love with this show now as when Dr. Wife and I plowed through Season One in a single weekend.
Prison Break
Has become a guilty pleasure. So far removed now from it’s original premise, but still fun.
Chuck
Loved Season One. Season Two looks even better.
Heroes
Everybody hated on Season Two, but I actually liked it. And Season Three, even according to those who didn’t like Season Two, looks promising.
This so doesn’t look good. I am so going to watch it.
And I’m just disinterested enough to skip the Terminator series.
Tuesday
Looks like too much of a straight-edge Psych rip for me to watch it without a shitload of good reviews.
House
Loved what they did with Season Four. Wondering how/if they’ll carry that into Season Five.
I’m actually not very psyched for this new J. J. Abrams entry. Maybe it’s the fact that he said it won’t be as complex as Alias or Lost. Maybe it’s the fact that Transformers writers are on board. But I’m definitely going to give it a shot.
Wednesday
Pushing Daisies
So glad this came back. Watch it now.
Thursday
Be warned. The early buzz on this is shitty. Just go watch the original BBC series.
CSI
Figured I’d drop this after Grissom left. And then they went and did this.
Smallville
Even Smallville fans seem to think it’s time to pack it in. Most of the talk at Comic-Con was about spinoffs. But I’m in until the bitter end.
The Office
Great as ever.
30 Rock
In some ways, my favorite show on TV.
Friday
I’m impressed that they’re going to take one book and turn it into a series. Still not going to watch, though.
Saturday
Hmmm. What’s in the Netflix queue?
Death Bunny
The Dark Knight is now the second top domestic grosser of all time. And that’s the last you’re going to hear about that since it’s never ever ever going to top Titanic.
By the way, Tropic Thunder is pretty damn good. Cruise is over-hyped. Robert Downey Jr. is not.
8/22
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Re-make of Death Race 2000. Or ultra-violent Cannonball Run remake, depending upon how you look at it.
WILL IT SUCK?
You know, if it weren’t for Paul W. S. Anderson’s involvement, I might be a little bit psyched, but he’s basically one step above Uwe Boll. Also, I can see how Jason Statham was destined to be in this flick, but who did Joan Allen piss off?
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Probably about as well as any late August/early September Statham vehicle. $38mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Ejected Playboy bunny (Anna Faris) goes all Extreme Makeover on a dorky sorority.
WILL IT SUCK?
This is from the writers behind Legally Blonde and 10 Things I Hate About You, but it’s from the director of Strange Wilderness. Good to see Kat Dennis getting work, though.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There’s another college movie coming out next week called College, but I think it’s for a hairier demographic. $28mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Ice Cube coaches his niece, the first girl to ever play in the Pop Warner football tournament (inspired by a true story).
WILL IT SUCK?
Fred Durst brings you this heartwarming comedy. Actually, Fred Durst has directed before. His The Education of Charlie Banks got some good reviews. The writers have brought you Akeelah and the Bee (whose Keke Palmer leads here as well) and a bunch of Prison Break eps. There is actually a little hope here.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The only other family-friendly fare is the previous week’s Fly Me to the Moon, whose 3D houseflies are no match for the Cube. $38mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Sort of like School of Rock, but without the school. Replace Jack Black with Rainn Wilson as the aging rocker amongst kids.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is kind of meh. From the director of The Full Monty and one of a dozen Simpsons writers and a Larry Sanders Show vet, so you’d expect more.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Rainn Wilson, like Andy Samberg before him about this same time last year, may not be ready to open a film yet. $24mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Down and out actor-turned-teacher (Steve Coogan) tries to save the drama department by putting on his play Hamlet 2, which includes a musical number called “Rock Me, Sexy Jesus.”
WILL IT SUCK?
Did you read the pitch? It’s already awesome. Actually, though, the early buzz is mixed, with audiences not as in love as critics. Co-writer/director Andrew Fleming hasn’t really done anything interesting since Dick (1999), though co-writer Pam Brady has brought plenty of teh funny with her work on South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut and Team America: World Police.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
In pretty much any context, “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” is going to have limited appeal. $12mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Waiter pursues wealth during WWII Czechoslovakia.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. From acclaimed Czech writer/director Jiri Menzel. Won a whole mess of Czech Lions (the main Czech film award).
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
When I say “acclaimed,” I don’t really mean “makes a whole bunch of money in the States.” $1mil.
Next Week: Battle of the action heroes: Vin Diesel vs. Don Cheadle-whaaa!?
Filmcritic Blogs Dot Com
Since I don’t have nearly enough to do, I decided to start writing for Filmcritic.com’s new blog, FilmcriticBlogs.com. You can see all my posts so far here.
Oh, and speaking of Filmcritic.com, here’s my Clone Wars review.
The Original Comedies of Comedy
Of the 21 wide releases to come out this summer (May - August) based on original screenplays (i.e. not novels, true stories, comic books, crappy TV shows, other movies, a doodle on a cocktail napkin, etc.) 13 are comedies:
Made of Honor
What Happens in Vegas
You Don’t Mess With the Zohan
The Love Guru
Meet Dave
Step Brothers
Swing Vote
Pineapple Express
Tropic Thunder
The Rocker
The House Bunny
Disaster Movie
College
One is a drama (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), but that has more to do with the fact that almost no dramas come out in wide release in the summer. One is a horror film (The Happening). And two are action/adventure (Traitor, Hancock - although the latter might qualify as comedy).
Can you guess the genre with the next highest number of original ideas? Animated/Family:
Wall-E
Kung Fu Panda
Space Chimps
Fly Me to the Moon
Basically all of the animated family films from the summer were original screenplays, which is interesting when you consider that, early on, animated films were dominated by the adapted fairy tales of Disney. But I digress…
This confirms what I’ve suspected for a while. The last bastion for original screenplays, genre-wise, is the comedy. (We’ll revisit this in the fall vis a vis dramas, but I can tell you right now a looooooot of those are based on novels or occasionally plays).
As far as the action genre goes, this makes sense. In the 80’s, original screenplays had more of a shot because you had action stars (Schwarzenegger, Stallone, etc.) who sold the movie. It didn’t matter what the plot was. But as the tide shifted towards properties (Harry Potter, comic books) and away from vehicles, star power became irrelevant (who saw Spider-Man for Tobey Maguire?) and brand recognition became all. So just try selling an action screenplay now not based on an existing property. (And with no less than 42 comic books currently undergoing adaptation, this is only the beginning.)
Comedy, on the other hand, is still largely star-driven. There is little advantage in basing your comedy on an existing property because that’s not why people are going to see your film. Yes, about five people are interested in Land of the Lost because it’s Land of the Lost, but the other five million want to see Will Ferrell be Will Ferrell. With dinosaurs.
Here’s the rub. Out of those 13 releases, how many were actually good? I’ll admit, I haven’t seen most of them, but that’s because, on average, they scored about 39% on Rotten Tomatoes (that’s not including the last four, but I’m guessing Disaster Movie and College will actually bring that number down).
So, let’s review. If you saw an original screenplay in a movie theater this summer, you were probably watching a comedy. And it probably sucked.
Yay?
The Case for Discomfort
A common complaint about the Web is that although it is possible now for people to learn more about a diverse group of opinions and facts than ever before, they tend to simply run to ground and only visit Web sites that reinforce whatever they currently believe or are familiar with. This, however, is not a complaint about the Web so much as it is a complaint about human behavior.
Long before the Web, it was human nature to seek out evidence to reinforce currently held belief. This always raised two questions for me. One, how did that evolve? In what way was it evolutionarily advantageous to simply reinforce what you believe rather than diversify your set of facts or make judgments based on new information rather than manipulate (or ignore) new information to fit your judgment?
Two, what makes the difference between people who seek shelter in common belief and those who make an effort to learn more about people and ideas with whom they disagree, or haven’t even heard of? Though I do plenty of both, I like to think that I fall more into the latter category, given that early on, when making my first list of bookmarks, I made sure to include Talking Points Memo and Instapundit. Not the most extreme set of Web sites on that particular axis, but not buddies, either.
What I learned by doing that, though, was that these sites didn’t cover different sides of the same story so much as they covered completely different stories that I never would have heard about had I simply subscribed to one of them. It’s that notion of possibly missing out on information that helps drive me to continue that habit, probably moreso than some ideal of being “well-rounded.”
And maybe that’s one of the differences in the personality type that will use the Web to diversify as opposed to nest. The diversifying Web surfer always feels like there’s some site she hasn’t seen yet that includes some nugget of information she would find invaluable and might never see if she doesn’t keep looking outside of her comfort zone, where as the nesting surfer might feel that they’ve carved out just the right set of bookmarks that are hard enough to keep up with as it is, thank you very much.
Interested in hearing people’s thoughts about this, as it’s an argument I’ve heard plenty of times without much analysis as to the roots of this kind of behavior.
By the way, this behavior has a physical manifestation as well, at least according to this guy.
Trailer Roundup: The Curious Case of the Fincherless Teaser
I know. It’s been a while.
I know I’m supposed to be psyched about Frank Miller. Loved 300. Loved Sin City. This looks silly. At least they didn’t rip off The Untouchables music like in the teaser.
This also looks silly, but in a much more fun way.
It was only a matter of time before they started comparing Jigsaw to Jesus.
Yes, more people have heard of Sex and the City than have heard of The Women, but that doesn’t mean you have to pitch the remake that way.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
You would have had me at “directed by David Fincher” if you had bothered to mention it at any point in the trailer.
Clone Thunder
The Dark Knight has been on top for a full month now, and has reached #3 on the all-time top domestic grossers, behind Titanic and Star Wars.
8/15
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
More Star Wars shit.
WILL IT SUCK?
Well, Lucas isn’t actually writing the screenplay, so chances for it to be good increase dramatically. Especially when you factor in that the guys who are writing the screenplay have episodes of The Tick, Angel and the short Troops to their collective credit.
Early buzz is mixed.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I think people are kind of burned out on Star Wars. $60mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
It’s amazing how enduring the Three Amigos narrative is. Here, actors playing soldiers must become soldiers.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Ben Stiller is back behind the camera, co-writing with Idiocracy scribe Etan Cohen and Iron Man 2 writer Justin Theroux.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This is well-suited to take on the likely weak second frame of Pineapple Express and nothing else really challenges it going forward. $102mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Mirrors will fuck your shit up.
WILL IT SUCK?
Before you ask, yes, this is based on an Asian horror film. It’s been adapted by writer/director Alexandre Aja (with co-writing partner Gregory Levasseur) so expect stylish gore.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not much competition, but horror ain’t exactly raking it in these days. $23mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Penelope Cruz vs. Scarlett Johansson vs. Rebecca Hall (over Javier Bardem).
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is sick. IMDB has this as Woody Allen’s highest rated film ever.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Would fare better limited. $12mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Space Flies
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is actually pretty good, which is surprising considering that this looks like Space Chimps but with flies in 3D.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I don’t know that good buzz will necessarily help this do better than Space Chimps. $21mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Religious face appears in this guy’s wall and everyone starts seeing miracles, except the guy (Luke Wilson).
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed and, I gotta say, the trailer looks pretty cheesy. Still, nice to see Adriana Barraza get some work.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Putting Luke Wilson in your indie is no guarantee of anything. $4mil.
Next Week: Anna Faris tries to carry a movie that doesn’t have Scary in the title.