Bruce Willis vs. Pixar vs. Michael Moore
I feel kind of bad for the makers of Evan Almighty. You make a movie. You have a lot of special effects. It’s a comedy, but you think, “Hey, Night at the Museum had a shitload of special effects for a comedy and it did well. So it’s okay if ours is the most expensive comedy ever made.” You have Steve Carell and a solid beginning to your franchise. What could go wrong?
$32 million. That’s what.
And then it dawns on you. You have only five days to make your bones before Live Free or Die Hard hits because it’s opening early - and four of them are gone already.
6/29
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Rat tries to make good on the culinary circuit in Paris.
WILL IT SUCK?
This is Pixar, son. How many times do I have to tell you? Seven for seven! Plus, it’s Brad Bird, writer/director of the greateset Pixar film of all time. Incidentally, I think this is the first Pixar (or maybe even Disney) film to have its own video podcasts. Early buzz, as usual, is off the heezy-fuh-sheezy. And, yes, most of the reviews use cooking metaphors.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Releasing in the middle of some heavy hitters. Die Hard 4 has a two day head start (which could help) and the next week, Transformers. But still, Pixar doesn’t fuck around. You release against them at your peril. $195mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
John McClaine vs. the Interwebs.
WILL IT SUCK?
What, besides the crappy title? Who watches Underworld and says, “I want THAT guy to direct my franchise comeback!”? Bruce Willis, that’s who. And the guy who wrote Godsend wrote the screenplay. If it makes you feel any better, this may be the first film based on a Wired article. That was turned into a script called WW3.com ten years ago by the guy who later wrote Enemy of the State.
You’ve also got Justin Long (be awesome if the bad guys used PC’s) and Kevin Smith in a cameo. Timothy Olyphant does the bad guy thing fairly well and I’m sure Death Proof cheerleader Mary Elizabeth Winstead will be easy on the eyes as McClaine’s daughter (although if you think back to Lucy McClaine in the original Die Hard, that’s just creepy). Great trailers, btw.
This is one of those movies that I really want to be good even though there’s very little chance that will happen.
That being said, early buzz is very good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
You’ve got back-to-back blockbuster weekends after this, so this has to grab everything it can, while it can. $177mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Michael Moore takes on health care.
WILL IT SUCK?
So far, the only real complaint is that he glamorizes the Canadian health care system too much, and that’s coming from Canadians.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
When Fahrenheit 9/11 opened at number one in the summer of 2004, remember its only competition was White Chicks (and it was an election year). This weekend it’s gotta deal with Pixar and Bruce Willis. On the other hand, scalped tix at preview screenings were going for as much as $40 a pop. $30mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kind of like The Notebook, but with more women.
WILL IT SUCK?
Powerhouse cast here: Clare Danes, Toni Collette, Vanessa Redgrave, Patrick Wilson, Meryl Streep and Glenn Close (together for the first time since - I’ll let that be a trivia question for you). Also, Meryl’s daughter Mamie Gummer plays young Meryl in flashbacks. From the writer of The Hours which had, like, hardly any women at all, right?
Early buzz is pretty sucky.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Should do all right. No cast like this anywhere in indieville right now. $11mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Coming-of-age story about a child prodigy pianist who wants to be a pilot.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. A chance to see the lighter side of Hitler (um, Downfall’s Bruno Ganz).
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Kind of crowded, but if it can keep up the good buzz, there’s hope. $2mil.
Next Week: Michael Bay. I love him. And I hate him.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Meryl Streep, Glenn Close (AND Vanessa Redgrave), together again on film for the first time since “The House of the Spirits”, 1993, directed by Bille August. (Gotta love IMDB.)