D-War Like a Mofo
Again, hitting near $15mil will get you the gold this time of year, and The Brave One pulls it off, but the surprise is D-War, which I can’t even find in my neck of the woods, making it to #4. Meanwhile, Eastern Promises, which rocks, didn’t even make it into the top ten.
Also rocking: King of Kong.
9/21
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
More zombies and shit.
WILL IT SUCK?
Just be thankful this is the last one.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
People love them some RE. $52mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
No, but I would pay to watch Paul Thomas Anderson beat the shit out of Paul W.S. Anderson during half-time. If they had half-time.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Okay, so if you sleep with Dane Cook, the next person you meet will be your true love. Dane tries to break this curse. (It’s true by the way. I slept with Dane the night before I met my wife. He’s a cuddler.)
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is actually pretty good. Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Employee of the Month grosses indicate the Dane Train has left the station. $39mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
No, but for the record, I actually think he’s funny as shit.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Emile Hirsch goes on walkabout.
WILL IT SUCK?
Dude, Eddie Vedder is totally doing the soundtrack! Oh, right, the film. A lot of people forget that Sean Penn is an acclaimed writer/director and he’s already up to his fourth feature with this one. Based on the true story of Christopher McCandless, who gave all he had to charity and headed for Alaska after graduating Emory in ‘92.
Early buzz is good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
One of the reasons people forget that Penn is an acclaimed director is because his movies don’t make a lot of money. $20mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
The Academy has yet to figure out that he’s a triple threat.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
…and the seven dorks. Get it? Cos’ it’s in college and she meets some nerds, see?
WILL IT SUCK?
I don’t know which is sadder, that Joe Nussbaum has gone from George Lucas in Love to this, or that one of the dorks is Freaks and Geeks alum Samm Levine.
At least one good early review, though.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I actually think Across the Universe has a better shot. $17mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Which of the teen queens do you think will be the first to win an Oscar? I used to think it would be Lindsay (back during her Mean Girls days, just before the implosion). Now my money’s on Mandy Moore.
Limited
THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
How long do they have to make the title before you know what it’s about?
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz has this as the result of a post-production nightmare as involved as the one that surrounded The Invasion. Explains why it was supposed to come out last year and still has the same trailer.
That having been said, early buzz is good, if a bit Malick-y.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Lust, Caution will be a bit of an issue the following week, but, c’mon, this has Brad Pitt. $35mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If the buzz holds true, this is the type of moody western that could do quite well with the Academy.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Admit it. As soon as you saw “Jane Austen” you decided whether or not you wanted to keep reading.
WILL IT SUCK?
The fact that the writer/director scripted Memoirs of a Geisha does not fill me with confidence. On the other hand, early buzz is solid. By the way, do you think this exchange ever happened on the set of The Devil Wears Prada?
Emily Blunt: So, my next project is Jane Austen Book Club. I’m one of the members of the club. We read Jane Austen books.
Anne Hathaway: Oh, yeah? Well in my next project I AM Jane Austen, bitch!
And then they wrestled in low-fat Jello. I’m serious. That totally fucking happened.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Again, Lust, Caution. $8mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
The Academy likes actual Jane Austen adaptations, but not much else.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Horror flick set against the backdrop of global warming. Seriously.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but it’s the best-rated flick yet from low-budget horror guru Larry Fessenden (Wendigo). Hey, anyone who can wrangle Friday Night Lights stars Connie Britton and Zach Gilford and throw in Ron Perelman and James LeGros in for good measure is all right in my book.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Waaay below the radar. $750,000.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Maybe eco-horror is a genre the Academy can get behind.
Next Week: Ang Lee and Wes Anderson return, but it’s Peter Berg you should be paying attention to.