Drag Coefficient
Pirates huffed and puffed but could only blow down the Memorial Day weekend record, taking five days (with a Thursday night open) to achieve what Spider-Man 3 did in three. The cumulative drag of Spidey’s thrid frame and Shrek’s second is the popular culprit. Of course, since all of these films are going to make approximately one gazillion dollars, after a while we’re just picking gnat shit out of pepper.
The movie itself lacks momentum. Not the worst sin, but given the pedigree, a notable one. More on the overall disappointment of the May of the Tres in a later post.
6/1
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kevin Costner gets his Lecter on.
WILL IT SUCK?
I’ll give writer/director Bruce A. Evans the screenplays for Starman and Stand By Me and even, God help me, Kuffs (which he also directed), but since then we’ve got to talk about the scripts for Jungle 2 Jungle and Cutthroat Island. Still, early buzz is good. And isn’t it time we got Dane Cook and William Hurt in a movie together? Keep an eye out for Reiko Aylesworth (Michelle on 24).
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Will be lucky to come in third to Knocked Up and the second frame of Pirates. $36mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The lighter side of unplanned parenthood.
WILL IT SUCK?
Probably the best movie I’ve seen this summer so far (granted it’s early). More here.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The combination of Hostel II and Ocean’s 13 the following weekend might present a bit of a challenge, but this should open well and taper off gently. $100mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Before there was Mia Hamm, there was…Gracie!
WILL IT SUCK?
From the director of An Inconvenient Truth, so if the bulk of the film is Gracie giving a PowerPoint presentation on why women should be allowed to play soccer, this will fucking rock. Early buzz is good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Very competitive field. Their 17-city tour might help. But probably not. $5mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Fight for the Chalk of Fate. Seriously.
WILL IT SUCK?
Watch this trailer and tell me you don’t want to see this movie. I was actually underwhelmed by Night Watch, but still wanted to see the sequel, even before I saw the trailer or the positive buzz.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Like its predecessor, this was a box office record-breaker in its native Russia. Like its predecessor, that probably won’t help here. $2mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
I Spit On Your Vampire Crypt
WILL IT SUCK?
Why the trailer says “from the writer of Gothika” instead of “from one of the writers of Snakes on a Plane” is beyond me. That having been said, early buzz is good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
If you’re gonna be an indie vampire flick, don’t open against Day Watch. $1mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Would you marry the man who threw acid in your face?
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. This doc was co-directed by Fisher Stevens. How cool is that?
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Should be pretty free of competition. $3mil
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Story of the last hangman in Britain.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good, and if you want to see Peter Pettigrew (Timothy Spall) whack 433 people, there’s really no other way.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Does have the advantage of not being about vampires, but that might not be enough to make it stand out. $250,00.
Next Week: You know what would be neat? A movie about penguins.