Evan Almighty Heart
Okay, movies never make exactly three times their opening weekend but, if Fantastic Four does, it will match my prediction exactly.
6/22
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
A bunch of Native Americans wait around 84 years for Christopher Columbus to show up. Or John Cusack checks into a haunted hotel room.
WILL IT SUCK?
Well, the writers are a mixed bunch, having scripted such fare as Ed Wood and Man on the Moon on one hand and Problem Child and Agent Cody Banks on the other. Director did the acclaimed Evil and the less acclaimed Derailed.
Early buzz is good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Opens the same week as Captivity, not that anyone will notice. $52mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Steve Carell builds an ark.
WILL IT SUCK?
Same writer and director as Bruce Almighty which, to be honest, I found to be surprisingly good. And Carell’s been batting pretty well so far. Even Over the Hedge didn’t suck (we don’t talk about Sleepover).
Preliminary buzz is “meh.”
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This is rumored to be the most expensive comedy ever made. I think it’ll just barely make all its money back domestically, but international and DVD will more than compensate. $229mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The Daniel Pearl story.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is fantastic. I would, at first, be ready to label this as Movie-of-the-Week exploitation, but with Michael Winterbottom at the helm, I take pause. He doesn’t fuck around. And he’s made some of the most uncompromising visions of the Middle East (and our involvement in it) of the past few years (In This World, Road to Guantanamo). Angelina Jolie doesn’t usually sell me on a project, but early buzz on her performance brings up the O-word and I’m curious to see Capote scribe Dan Futterman take on the role of Daniel Pearl.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Might do better as a limited release. How many people are going to walk into a multiplex and consciously choose a tragic story about real-life terrorism over Steve Carell in a long-ass beard? $35mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Ben Kingsley does the wacky hit man thing.
WILL IT SUCK?
From Last Seduction, Rounders, Joy Ride director John Dahl, who for some reason has been tapped to direct Punisher 2 (which, for some reason, is happening). From the writers of Narnia. In spite of a cheesy Whole Nine Yards-y trailer, could be good. Early buzz is encouraging.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Nobody knows this is coming out. $23mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Killer mutant sheep.
WILL IT SUCK?
Wants to be Shaun of the Dead, but really isn’t.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Between this weekend and next you have two bigger indies and Fido might steal its comedy/horror thunder to boot. $1mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Sex and the Parker Posey
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed, but no one seems particularly psyched about this film. Raves for Posey’s perf, however.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Eagle vs. Shark is a bit of a big deal, and so is Sicko the next week. But, this has Parker Posey. $5mil.
Next Week: The only summer blockbuster based on a Wired article.