Love in the Time of Beowulf
Bee Movie showing incredible legs, surpassing Gangster in its second weekend to take the top spot which, by all rights, should have been Fred Claus‘ anyway, but that movie had to go and suck for both audiences and critics. In other news, I finally got around to seeing Gone, Baby, Gone, and holy shit can Affleck direct a motherfucker. No Country for Old Men was a bit more problematic - both brilliant and a pain in the ass. More on how here.
11/16
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Guy kills monster. Pisses off monster’s mom. Naked motion capture Angelina Jolie ensues.
WILL IT SUCK?
Robert Zemeckis doesn’t exactly suck as a director, and his FX team seems to have learned a thing or two since Polar Express. He’s also got Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary on screenplay duty. Add to that a stellar voice cast (Anthony Hopkins, Ray Winstone, Robin Wright Penn, Crispin Glover, John Malkovich, Alison Lohman, Brendan Gleeson) and you’ve got anticipation.
Early buzz is good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Audiences may have a tough time resolving the 300-style mood with the often kid-friendly medium. Families will go see Mr. Magorioum’s Wonder Emporium instead, but the die hard goth/renfest faithful will turn out. $57mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Have you seen Angelina Jolie all Grendel’s mommed-up? Shoo-in for Best Animated nod (even though a lot of folks, Zemeckis included, don’t consider motion capture animation). Also, there were some rumors at Comi-Con that Anthony Hopkins could get the first-ever nod for a CG performance.
MR. MAGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Old guy (Dustin Hoffman) leaves magical toy store to young woman (Natalie Portman).
WILL IT SUCK?
Zach Helm, who wrote Stranger Than Fiction, writes and directs here. That’s the only reason I’m interested in this.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Has a head start on next week’s slew of family films, but that head start is abbreviated by the fact that they all open on a Wednesday. $41mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Hoffman has to do more than be a wacky old guy to cut it.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Lovers separated by time and distance, blah, blah, blah…
WILL IT SUCK?
Should an adaptation of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez have a MySpace page and a soundtrack by Shakira? While you ponder that, know that the early buzz is not good, in spite of combining director Mike Newell with the screenwriter from The Pianist and casting Javier Bardem as the lead. The trailer does, however, seem to be a collection of Jane Austen clichés.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It’s almost noble to use MySpace and Shakira to get the kids interested in the magical realism, but I don’t think it’s going to work. $4mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
The reviews are getting progressively worse.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Two sisters clash over one of the sister’s choice of fiancé.
WILL IT SUCK?
This is Noah Baumbach’s follow-up to The Squid and the Whale and it’s not getting nearly the same kind of unanimous approval. Critics overall are down on it (though some love it) while audiences are mostly on board. I have to admit I’m curious to see what he can do with Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jack Black, Ciaran Hinds and John Turturro in his line-up.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Has to deal with the higher-profile I’m Not There next week plus I’m not even sure most people who liked The Squid and the Whale know this is coming out. $8mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If the best they could do for Squid was a screenplay nod, I don’t have high hopes for this.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Richard Kelly’s Donnie Darko follow-up has weird goings-on in L.A.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is not good. Even audiences seem to be kind of “meh.” Does have an ecclectic cast, however, including The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sean William Scott, Mandy Moore, Cheri Oteri, Miranda Richardson, Jon Lovitz, Kevin Smith, Wallace Shawn, John Larroquette, Amy Poehler, Justin Timberlake, Curtis Armstrong, Janeane Garofalo, and Christopher Lambert. You could probably just spend the whole movie playing “spot the celeb.”
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Delayed releases and multiple trips to Cannes and Comic-Con could actually help this open before word of mouth kills it. $5mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Conceptual and Wacky tend not to go over so well with the Academy, especially with bad reviews.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Casualties of War: Iraq Edition
WILL IT SUCK?
This is the kind of movie over which people get their panties in a bunch long before anyone actually sees it. A fictional depiction of a real life rape and murder committed by U.S. troops against an Iraqi family, it has managed to piss off even the writer/director Brian De Palma (you may have heard of him), who is incensed that actual images of dead Iraqis have been…wait for it…redacted from the close of the film. For all the controversy (which is the majority of ink it will get) the actual reviews are middling.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Just like Death of a President generated a whole lot of controversy and not a lot of box office, this, too looks to be much ado about a very limited release. $1mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
The controversy could help if the reviews were there to support it, but that just isn’t the case here.
Next Week: What does it mean when the most realistic looking Bob Dylan is Cate Blanchett?