Paul Bettany vs. Paul Bettany
Avatar closing in on The Dark Knight. $492 million and the third highest-grossing film of all time. In other, more obscure, but less predictable news, Carmen is now the highest grossing opera-on-the-big-screen (you know those ads you see before the movie starts for opera performances broadcast in theaters?) from the Met movie series with $3 million from 700 screens in one day.
Oh, and this week, Paul Bettany plays an angel and Darwin.
1/22
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Patrons of a diner fight off angels hell-bent (see what I did there?) on killing the next Messiah.
WILL IT SUCK?
Not much is known about behind the camera, but the cast sure is fun: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Doug Jones, Kevin Durand, and Lucas Black.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I think people might be all apocalyps’d out by now. $29mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Dwayne Johnson has to become a Tooth Fairy because he did something wrong and because it’s funny.
WILL IT SUCK?
When you’re making a movie about a guy forced to take on the role of a mythical children’s figure, I guess it makes sense to tap the guy who helmed Santa Clause 2 and 3. You’ve got a slew of writers, including Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, who’ve been very hit or miss of late after cranking out stuff like Night Shift, Splash, and City Slickers with relative consistency back in the day. Plus you’ve got some TV writers who’ve done some decent Simpsons but have only Surviving Christmas to their feature film credit. Cast includes Stephen Merchant, so that’s a plus.
One reviewer compares it to “oral surgery without laughing gas,” while other reviewers are kinder but not, you know, happy.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
The last time they tried to humanize The Rock, The Game Plan made $90 million. $68mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Harrison Ford’s Oil
WILL IT SUCK?
More confidence in the writer (Chocolat, Flushed Away, Water Horse) than the director (What Happens in Vegas). Also starring Brendan “Underrated” Fraser and Kerri Russel.
One reviewer compares it to a Hallmark TV movie and, well, that’s the only one in so far.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Feels more like a fall release. $18mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Popular kid reaches out to unpopular kid after popular kid’s unpopular childhood friend commits suicide.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Little is known about the cast or crew, or whether or not the Fray song will make an appearance.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Certainly a lot more high profile indies floating around, but interested to see if this can find its audience in limited release. $5mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Charles Darwin writes a book that causes no controversy whatsoever.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good-but-not-great, which is impressive given that this is headier work than you’d expect from the director of The Core. Paul Bettany is supposed to be outstanding as Darwin, and Jennifer Connelly, Toby Jones, and Jeremy Northam probably dont’ suck either.
Wonder if it’s a coincidence that the screenwriter also did Master and Commander, in which Bettany plays a doctor fascinated by Darwin’s work.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Might have benefitted more from an Awards season release, where the controversy it’s sure to raise would have gotten more traction. $6mil.
Next Week: Sugartits McGee is back!
January 18th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Yikes! That sounds like the third episode of “Everyone Loves Darwin The Vampire Slayer.”
Stay on groovin’ safari,
Tor
January 22nd, 2010 at 4:56 pm
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