The Ant Bully Must Die
Pirates is still number one after three weeks. It is now the 16th-highest grossing film of all time. What did you do in the last 16 days?
I greatly overestimated the take of everything that came out this weekend, though I was kind of happy to see Clerks II edge out My Super Ex-Girlfriend.
Clerks II, by the way, better than Mallrats (which I liked), but not as good as Clerks, Dogma or Chasing Amy. Probably on a par with Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to see Jersey Girl.
Wide
MIAMI VICE
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
It’s been twenty years and still there’s drugs and prostitution in Miami. Those guys are fucking up.
WILL IT SUCK?
Michael Mann has built up a hell of a lot of good will with me over the course of Manhunter, The Insider, Heat and Collateral, to name a few. Here he’s dealing with his own baby. And I actually like the casting of Farrell and Fox, though the former is resembling Treat Williams more and more with each film. And “verboten” does not mean what the teaser thinks it means. (Even if he’s actually saying “foreboding,” still doesn’t mean that.)
Early buzz is actually pretty good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Talladega Nights will be an issue the following week, but this weekend it should own. $97mil.
THE ANT BULLY
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Ants get revenge on some kid who’s been bullying them by shrinking him down to their size.
WILL IT SUCK?
I have to give writer/director John A. Davis credit. He’s done some of the better CG animated flicks of the past few years. He did the surprisingly good Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius and the hilarious short Santa Claus vs. the Snowman. So for that reason only I have some faith in this project. Other than that, I’m tired of seeing trailers for CG films where animals get back at The Man (Over the Hedge, Barnyard, Open Season and this, for starters).
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Comes in the middle of a three-week assault of CG animation (with Barnyard bowing the following week). Nobody likes the middle child. $62mil.
JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Three high school girls seek revenge on the boy who done them wrong. Opportunities for vaguely lesbian titilation ensue.
WILL IT SUCK?
This movie doesn’t look…oh, what’s the word?…good. Betty Thomas directs, and when she’s not making movies about Howard Stern (Private Parts), she’s making I Spy.
By the way, I think this is the first time the official website for a film is its MySpace page. Correct me if I’m wrong. (In fact, each of the main four girls in the film has their own page. Think they’ll do this for All the Kings Men?)
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This will be another victim of the overcomedification of the summer. On the other hand, it’s taking a long time for those MySpace pages to load. $39mil.
Limited
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Sort of an indie National Lampoon’s Vacation.
WILL IT SUCK?
I’ve waxed poetic about it here. But the bottom line is that this is the good shit.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
A little competition from Woody Allen, but not much. Probably one of the bigger indies of the summer. $14mil.
SCOOP
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
In a weird sort of mix of Match Point and Ghost Dad, Scarlett Johansson is led by Ian McShane, in spirit form, to track down a charming Brit (Hugh Jackman) who might be a killer.
WILL IT SUCK?
Woody Allen doesn’t exactly suck. He turns in “meh” from time to time, but he rarely flat-out sucks. Will this be as good as say, Match Point? Probably not.
Early buzz is putting this solidly in the “meh” category.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
“Meh” Woody just doesn’t cut it box office-wise. Especially with Little Miss Sunshine out there. $5mil.
BROTHERS OF THE HEAD
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Don’t call it a mockumentary. Fake doc about a pair of conjoined-twin punk rock stars.
WILL IT SUCK?
It really isn’t a mockumentary (even Christopher Guest hates that term). It’s a fairly somber tale of exploitation and the typical roller coaster of fame that is rock stardom with the twist of the leads being conjoined (makes things real uncomfortable if, say, they both like the same girl but she only wants to do one of them - and does). Directed (very well, I might add) by the pair behind Lost in La Mancha. Well worth checking out, if only for the kick-ass soundtrack. More here if you scroll down.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
It’s not so much the competition as the fact that nobody knows about this film and those that do don’t care. Interesting note: Fuse bought the TV rights. This does not make Pants Off Dace Off any classier. $1mil.
ANOTHER GAY MOVIE
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Gay American Pie
WILL IT SUCK?
It’s painful. I actually saw a script reading for this film, and that was funnier. The only thing still funny about it when it reached the screen was Scott Thompson, but he’s only in a handful of scenes. The rest just hurts. More here.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not so well. With the number of walkouts I saw at the preview screening, buzz is likely to be poor, and you really need word-of-mouth on a project like this. $250,000.
AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Doc about a guy who goes in search of the law that mandates income tax and finds that America is not so much anymore with the civil liberties.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is not so good. Apparently makes a better argument for the income tax thing than the civil liberties thing.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
I think the income tax angle will turn off a lot of people, even some liberals. In fact, it will turn on some libertarian conservatives who might then be turned off by the America Doesn’t Rock angle, but then again, if they’re libertarians, they’ll be all about the civil liberties…so…I guess my bullet point here is that this will only appeal to libertarians, and there are only so many of those. $500,000.
Next Week: The best horror film of the year. Seriously.
July 24th, 2006 at 10:49 pm
Saw both “Clerks II” and “Super Ex” - the first because, well, how could I not - the second because it was hot as BALLS in northern CA yesterday, and I had to go SOMEWHERE air conditioned. I really enjoyed “Clerks II”- it kept a lot of the tone of the original “Clerks”, but the humor was a bit more broad, which isn’t always a bad thing. Also, it discounts, to an extent, much of the action of “Dogma” and “J&SBSB” for the sake of continuity with the first film. (Only references I caught - Mooby’s (obviously), the message on Jay’s clothes at the end of the movie, and - possibly - the Nun during the “ABC” sequence (I didn’t get a good enough look to see if it was Carrie Fisher) - there might have been more.) I suppose it helps that I’m the right age and of the the right background to relate to Dante & Randall. (Well, mostly Dante.) And considering “Clerks II” cost $25M to make, and taking into account Kevin Smith’s limited appeal, $10.somethingM in its first week isn’t too shabby.
As for “Super Ex”…well, it wasn’t good, by any means, but that’s not to say it couldn’t have been saved by a rewrite and a change in director. (Seriously - I love his earlier work, but has Ivan Reitman made a good comedy since “Ghostbusters”?) All the pieces were in place, the story had a decent thruline, but it was supposed to be a rom-com, emphasis on the ‘com’, and the jokes never felt like they had the ‘zing’ they should have.
July 25th, 2006 at 6:13 am
Thanks for the heads up on Super-Ex. Maybe I’ll put it in the queue. Probably not.
And at $25mil, Clerks II will easily make it to $5mil profit theatrical and goo-gobs more on DVD. Go Kev!