Sometimes films get the audience they deserve. The Simpsons Movie opens to a whopping $71.85 million (to which I contributed at least ten bucks) while Who’s Your Caddy nabs $2.9 million.
And Once, btw, is just as good as you’ve been told.
And Sunshine is equal parts beautiful, creepy and intense.
8/3
Wide
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Dog gets superpowers.
WILL IT SUCK?
The director did Racing Stripes and one of the three writers did Zoom, so I’m not optimistic. Nice cast, tho, with Jason Lee as the voice of Underdog and Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton as the bad guys. Also, keep an eye out for Samantha Bee.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
All the family-ish crap is coming out now. You’ve got the second frame of Simpsons and this week Bratz, Charlie Bartlett, El Cantate and Hot Rod, all of which will pull on diff. sectors of this demo. – and then next week, Daddy Day Camp and Stardust. Still, people love them some talking animals. $50mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kind of like that part in Rushmore where he goes to public school if he then started giving psychiatric advice and drugs to students.
WILL IT SUCK?
I’m not the only one making Rushmore comparisons. Richard Horgan over at FilmStew compares Robert Downey, Jr. in this film to Bill Murray in the other. Hope Davis is up in here, too, as Bartlett’s mom. Early buzz is very good.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Crowded weekend, nobody knows about it, similarly-themed Rocket Science comes out (albeit in limited release) next week, and even Rushmore didn’t make good wide release money. $15mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The Salsa King
WILL IT SUCK?
Basically critics seem split on whether or not the caliente muscial numbers are enough to support the whatever-is-Spanish-for-tepid rest of the film. But, if you wanna see J-Lo and M-Anto in a movie together, now’s your chance.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Outside her wheelhouse, J-Lo is no safe bet. $26mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Matt Damon kicks more ass.
WILL IT SUCK?
They’ve really pulled out all the stops (and no, I will not make a Tom Stoppard pun here even though he’s contributing to the screenplay). Paul Greengrass is back in the director’s chair and Tony Gilroy is back writing with the aforementioned Stoppard in tow as well as a little Paul Attanasio thrown in for good measure (we’ll try to forget that George “The Sentinel” Nolfi is also credited). All the regular cast is back along with David Straithairn following in the character-actor-turned-Bourne-villain steps of Chris Cooper and Brian Cox before him. Unfortunately, the rumored casting of Gael Garcia Bernal as Carlos the Jackal failed to materialize. I doubt that pitting Bourne against Carlos is even in the plot anymore, but who knows?
Early buzz is waaay off the hook.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Little bit of competition from Rush Hour 3 next week, but not much. $167mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Andy Samberg as a would-be daredevil.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is good. Samberg cohort Akiva Schaffer directs a script from Trey Parker and Matt Stone writing partner Pam Brady. Isla Fisher (who proved her comedy chops in Wedding Crashers) co-stars with Will Arnett and Ian McShane.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With SNL on hiatus, who will pimp Hot Rod? $20mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The horror…the horror…
WILL IT SUCK?
I’ve gotta say, they’ve put together the right writer and director for this. The director helmed 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain and the writer did The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Oh, and the clothes were designed by Jeffrey Sebelia of Project Runway fame, so it’s got that going for it.
Early buzz is not hot. Ed Gonzalez over at Slant couldn’t bring himself to give it even one complete star.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
This will pretty much own its demographic, with some straying towards Underdog because puppies are cute. $33mil.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Anne Hathaway IS Jane Austen.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is favorable, but not exactly gushing. Good supporting cast, with James McAvoy once again playing second fiddle to a famous historic figure (I can’t wait for the scene where Jane Austen hangs him by his nipples) and Dame Maggie Smith, Julie Walters and James “I bet you thought I was British” Cromwell all on board.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Plenty of starpower in The Ten this week, but a completely different audience. $2mil.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
The Ten Commandments via The State.
WILL IT SUCK?
Not as good as it should be. More here.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
There’s nothing like it out there, but I don’t know how strong The State following really is. $2mil.
Next Week: Who’s the highest-paid actor in Hollywood? I’ll give you hint. He hasn’t made a movie in six years.
It’s also worth noting that the $71M for “The Simpsons” (MOVIE, glaven, on the big screen!) is over a standard three-day ‘weekend’, and not the extended opening frames that Transformers was able to benefit from, so it’s all the more of an achievement. I’m hoping that the film has legs – I’m debating seeing it again, since I’m sure there are a lot of in-jokes I missed paying attention to, you know, the plot.
One other thing: “I Know Who Killed Me” only did marginally better than “Caddy”, with $3.4M. Maybe it should have been called “I Know What Killed My Career”?
Here’s the thing I want to know: Who has the blackmail photos/footage of Jason Lee, that he’s involved in BOTH “Underdog” and the forthcoming “Alvin & The Chipmunks” (ugh)? Honestly. He has a hit TV show, he’s still got indie film cred…why is he in this shite?
I know. I feel like shouting out to Jason Lee a la Obi-Wan, “You were the chosen one! You could have been Fletch!”