The Secret Life of W. Sex Payne
If I told you a month ago that a non-franchise horror movie with no stars would beat a spy thriller with Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio, would you have believed me?
Oh, and the charming Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist is what the Sixteen Candles-era John Hughes romp has evolved into, not to mention the fact that the pairing of Kat Dennings and Michael Cera is a match made in indie darling heaven.
10/17
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Superbad Road Trip
WILL IT SUCK?
Looks like College with a better cast and only one or two better jokes. Don’t know what a teen comedy has to do these days to get out of the shadow of Superbad, but this ain’t it.
Early buzz, however, is good in an “I can’t believe that didn’t suck nearly as much as I expected” kind of way.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Now that Max Payne has a PG-13, it will pwn this film, which draws on the same demo with an R. $14mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Seth Green for Best Cameo as an Amish Person. It’s one of the technical awards.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
FPS video game adaptation. So there’ll be shooting.
WILL IT SUCK?
FPS video game adaptation. So yes. No idea about the writer, but the director did Behind Enemy Lines (and The Omen remake, but that wasn’t an action film so let’s just ignore it), so I guess the action sequences might not suck. Actually, I’ve already lost interest in this movie since the director’s next one involves zombie vampires in Afghanistan (though, strangely, isn’t actually called Zombie Vampires in Afghanistan, which would just be the Best. Title. Ever.)
Early buzz is not so good, and I love this quote from Andrew L. Urban, “I never trust a film in which the protagonists have conversations or even arguments in the pouring rain – without umbrellas.”
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Not much in the way of action this month, and Marky Mark usually draws a crowd. $58mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
I think the first video game adaptation to even stand a slim chance at an Oscar nod will be Bioshock.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Little white girl (Dakota Fanning, natch) goes to live with big black family in 60’s South Carolina.
WILL IT SUCK?
Early buzz is mixed. From the writer/director of Love and Basketball with a tricked-out cast including Queen Latifah, Sohpie Okonedo, Paul Bettany, Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson (and no word on whether those last two sing a duet on the soundtrack but if I were some cheeseball producer I’d totally have them remaking “Peace Train” or some shit).
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Based on a bestselling novel. And there’s nothing else like it for miles. $34mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
I’m sure that was the idea.
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Step back in time with Oliver Stone to, um, I guess right now.
WILL IT SUCK?
Seriously, who else could direct this but Oliver Stone? And Josh Brolin as the Prez is fuck genius. Some inspired casting all around: Elizabeth Banks as Laura Bush, Ellen Burstyn as Barbara Bush, Rob Corddry as Ari Fleischer, James Cromwell as Pa Bush, Richard Dreyfuss as Darth Cheney, Scott Glen as Rumsfeld, Ioan Gruffudd as Tony Blair, Toby Jones as Karl Rove, Bruce McGill as George Tenet, Thandie Newton as Condi Rice and Jeffrey Wright as Colin Powell.
Written by Stanley Wiser, who last teamed with Stone on Wall Street. Of course, he also wrote Project X. But, you know what? If Bush teams up with a superintelligent chimpanzee halfway through the movie, I’m gonna call that a win.
Early buzz is good, especially for Brolin’s perf.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
With approval ratings in the toilet, it won’t be hard to find a group of adults willing to plunk down some cash to watch Stone beat up on the old man for a couple of hours, though I doubt that’s what he’s actually going to do. $45mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If it’s a masterpiece, which isn’t impossible, look at every major award to be in play. If not, Brolin still has a shot.
Limited
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Doc following a group of newbie sailors who compete in an open ocean race.
WILL IT SUCK?
Apparently, Roy Disney is big into sailing, which is why he put this whole thing together. From the directors of the New York Cosmos doc.
Early buzz is meh.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
If What Just Happened? weren’t enough to overshadow it this week, Eastwood and Kaufman have films opening next week. $500,000.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
If Deep Water couldn’t get any love…
WHAT’S THE PITCH?
Kind of like Entourage, except without Vincent Chase.
WILL IT SUCK?
Director Barry Levinson hasn’t been knocking them out of the park lately, but this is currently his highest-rated film on IMDB. Adapted by Art Linson from his eponymous book. Supposedly the best work De Niro’s done in a while.
HOW WELL WILL IT DO?
Generally speaking, Hollywood insider movies tend not to do that well. This does have the advantage of opening before next week’s Academy hopefuls, at least. $5mil.
WILL ANYBODY REMEMBER IT AT OSCAR TIME?
Levinson’s already wagged this dog.
Next Week: Charlie Kaufman is back and weirder than ever.
October 13th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Not to be a dick, but Max Payne was a third person shooter and not an FPS. I’m just sayin’. And yes the film will suck but the game was fun.
October 14th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Good catch. Sorry about that. Not surprised to hear the game is good. They usually are. It’s just the transition to screen that almost always gets botched.
October 14th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Is Max Payne related to Major Payne?
October 20th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
[...] Called the B.O. for just about every wide release this past weekend (multiply their take by three to get a rough estimate of their final take, which is what I predicted). Overshot W. by a bit, but that’s about all. Hopefully this makes up for my terrible, terrible Chihuahua misstep. [...]