At long last. I’d like to thank you all for sticking around and commenting. Before we get to it, I wanna give you a heads up about Thursday. I’m going to be one of the stops on my buddy Kevin‘s Virtual Book Tour. We’re going to shoot the shit about movies and books in honor of his debut effort, Bookmark Now. It’s going to be the best crossover since The Flinstones Meet the Jetsons. Fo’shizzle.

And now…

5. Claude Rains

Truth be told, Claude Rains started out as a leading man. In his second role, 1933’s The Invisible Man, he was, well, the invisible man. (Eeirily that was also his last role in a 1966 remake). But I will always remember Rains for being one of the best things about some of the best movies ever made. He plays my favorite character in Casablanca by far (and that’s a movie with a lot of great characters). If he never did anything else but respond to Humphrey Bogart’s “And remember, Louis, this gun is pointed at your heart” with an effortless, “I assure you, that is my least vulnerable spot,” he’d be on this list but he also played a key role in a little film called Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and portrayed one of the most interesting villains in film history in Notorious. Incidentally, he was nominated for Oscars for all of these roles.

Now, it doesn’t hurt that these are some of my favorite films, but I don’t think they would be without the power Rains has to hold his own against the likes of Carey Grant, Humphrey Bogart, and Jimmy Stewart and make you just as interested in what he’s doing. I may not know a lot of the character actors of the first half of film’s life, but I’ll always remember Rains.

Check out: Casablanca, Lawrence of Arabia, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Notorious, The Adventures of Robin Hood, The Invisible Man, The Wolf Man

4. Gary Oldman/Tim Curry

Name two British actors of a million voices who often play the heavy, and in doing so, utterly transform themselves. Oldman as Mason Verger in Hannibal couldn’t be more different than Oldman as Drexel Spivey in True Romance, but you really wouldn’t want to fuck with either of them. And when he looks normal, he’s arguably at his most infamous – Norman Stansfield in The Professional is hands-down one of my favorite movie villains of all time. Right up there with Hans Gruber and Belloq. Even in a kid’s film, playing the misunderstood good guy, he’s still creepy – or at least grungy. And who else could play Beethoven and Sid Vicious in one lifetime, not to mention Lee Harvey Oswald and Dracula? Even when he’s playing the generic villain in Air Force One or (shudder) Lost In Space, he still gives it that extra something that says “I know this is contrived, but dammit, I’m trying!”

Now, how does Tim Curry, who’s been in fewer films, many of them far worse, rank with Oldman with such accuracy? Well, imagine taking Oldman’s penchant for transformation to the nth degree and you’ll get Curry. The distance from Mason Verger to Drexl Spivey is a city block compared to the distance from The Lord of Darkness to Frank-N-Furter. But the common denominator is commitment. Curry throws himself wholly into these roles and disappears.

This extends to television as well. Witness It or his apperance as a whale of a man on Monk. For some actors, being buried under pounds of makeup is either a crutch or a hindrance to performance. For Curry, it is an organic extension of the character. Or, to quote Krusty, “This ain’t make-up!”

Take off the mask and he can be just as oily (Kinsey) or funny as hell (Clue).

Someday, we’ve gotta get these two together and see who can chew the most scenery while wearing the most prosthetics for the longest amount of time. Who do you think will win?

Check out Gary Oldman: The Professional, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, JFK, True Romance, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Dracula, The Fifth Element, Immortal Beloved, Sid and Nancy, Air Force One, Hannibal

Check out Tim Curry: The Hunt for Red October, Kinsey, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Clue, It, Legend, The Three Musketeers, Monk, Spamalot (if you can get tickets)

3. Dan Hedaya

It is one accomplishment to be as versatile as the day is long. But it is quite another thing to fill a niche so squarely, that to imagine another in the role is treasonous. Do you really want another police chief besides Dan Hedaya? Do you really want anyone else looking out for Alicia Silverstone in Clueless? Do you really want anyone else to kidnap Alyssa Milano in Commando? I think the word I’m looking for here is gruff, and Dan Hedaya is the personification. It can be taken to downright scary levels, as in The Hurricane, or played for laughs, as in the classic (and, yes, I do mean classic) Running Scared. Either way, when you absolutely, positively have to intimidate every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitute.

Check out: The Usual Suspects, Blood Simple, Searching for Bobby Fischer, The Hurricane, Nixon, Clueless, To Die For, A Civil Action, Dick, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Running Scared, Alien: Resurrection, Commando, Joe Versus the Volcano

2. Joe Pantoliano

Was there ever any doubt Joey Pants was gonna be up in here? He’s practically the definition of character actor in our day and age. And, like Hedaya, he’s perfected a niche. The sleazeball. It could be a sleazeball cop (Memento) or a sleazeball freedom fighter (The Matrix), but he’ll play the role to perfection.

On the other hand he cleans up nice and plays off heavy hitters like Tommy Lee Jones like it ain’t no thang in The Fugitive. Or leads Lou Diamond Phillips to stardom in La Bamba. But the fact is once he donned the moniker “Guido the Killer Pimp” in Risky Business, the die was pretty much cast and 80’s action/comedy (not to mention 90’s and post-millennial noir) would never be the same.

Oh, and I heard he was kind of okay on The Sopranos.

Check out: Memento, The Matrix, The Fugitive, Bound, Midnight Run, The Goonies, Risky Business, La Bamba, Bad Boys, Running Scared, The Sopranos

1. Steve Buscemi

In putting together this list, I struggled with what made for a great character actor. Was it ubiquity, like Clint Howard? Acting chops, like Christopher Guest? A penchant for a particular type, like M. Emmet Walsh? All of these things and more?

To me, no other actor on this list better defines everything I think a great character actor can potentially be, than Steve Buscemi. There’s a reason he’s become a go-to guy for Tarantino, Coen, Rodriguez, and Jarmusch on the one hand and Bruckheimer and Sandler on the other. Professionally speaking, he’s the poster child for taking small parts in big budget fare like Con Air, in order to finance the ability to be in small budget fare like Ghost World or make his own films (Trees Lounge, Animal Factory, Lonseome Jim).

What’s more, he’s good in both. If Owen Wilson had the funniest line in Armageddon, Buscemi easily had the second funniest – “You know we’re sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”

And though his characters are always convincing, there’s always something very Buscemi about his performance. The elemental Buscemi is perhaps Mr. Pink or Carl Showalter in Fargo. Fast-talking, cynical, smart-ass. But elements of that persona manifest themselves in more staid roles like Seymour in Ghost World or even his happy go-lucky (and hilarious) cameo in Big Fish. In this way Buscemi somehow combines what it is to be a great actor with what it is to be a great character actor. Besides, is there anyone else you want delivering that monologue at the beginning of Desperado?

Oh, and I heard he was kind of okay on The Sopranos.

Check out: Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Fargo, Big Fish, The Big Lebowski, Monsters, Inc., Miller’s Crossing, Ghost World, Dead Man, Barton Fink, The Hudsucker Proxy, Living in Oblivion, Mystery Train, Trees Lounge, The Wedding Singer, Desperado, Coffee and Cigarettes, In the Soup, Con Air, Twenty Bucks, Billy Madison, Spy Kids 2, Armageddon, The Sopranos

If I’d made the 50 Greatest Character Actors list ten years ago, some then up and comers would have been no-brainers. Today, their names are a little too well known and their lead roles a little too high profile. It’s always a judgement call, though, and I came damn close to putting each of the following names very high on the big list.

1. Ed Harris

This was an extremely tough call cos’ this guy has had some incomparable supporting roles. Apollo 13, The Truman Show, and Glengarry Glenn Ross just to name a few. But the breadth and popularity of his work has lead to what I believe could legitimately be called “stardom.” And lead roles in The Abyss and Milk Money don’t help. (His lead in Pollock is excused for reasons I’ll go into when I reveal the number one spot on the big list.)

Incidentally, my favorite Ed Harris role comes in not a great film, but one worth watching. Major Konig in Enemy at the Gates. Speaking of his nemesis, a rival sharpshooter played by Jude Law, he declares, “He isn’t dead, and do you know why? Because I haven’t killed him yet.” And when he says that, you believe him.

2. Chris Cooper

You can blame John Sayles for this one. He’s proved twice over (Matewan, Lone Star) that Cooper can carry a film. Regardless, he’s one of the finest character actors working today. A fact which Oscar rightly recognized three years ago.

3. Julianne Moore

I’d say it was over for her once she took over for Jodie Foster in Hannibal. Since then she’s pretty much graduated from ensemble school and gone on to some fantastic lead performances (Far From Heaven, etc.). And after The Forgotten, she pretty much can’t go back.

4. Samuel L. Jackson

With a work ethic rivaling that of number eight on this list, it’s very hard to keep Jackson out of the winner’s circle. He’d be in the top five, at least. But after Coach Carter, Shaft, The 51st State, 187, Amos and Andrew, and Changing Lanes, it’s safe to say he’s straddling both worlds now. Still, is there any reason to watch Deep Blue Sea without him?

5. Jack Black

Arguably the funniest guy on this list, it was over for Jack once the experiment that was School of Rock proved a rousing success. Sure, he’ll still do the tiny Anchorman cameo, but his days of brilliant supporting work a la High Fidelity are probably long gone.

6. Owen Wilson

Single funniest line in Armageddon – “Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That’s all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable.” Trust me. You gotta see it in context. And you have to hear Owen say it. Regardless, it’s clear now that Owen’s future is in buddy work (I Spy, Starsky & Hutch, The Wedding Crashers).

7. Will Ferrell

As good as he is in Elf or Anchorman, I’m really not sure I’ve seen Ferrell be funnier than he is in Old School. I think his schtick works best in small doses. See the Austin Powers films or Zoolander (or the shit-fit-funny MTV Movie Awards parodies of Panic Room and Matrix Reloaded). But with leads in Bewitched and Curious George on the horizon, he’s a star on the rise. (Looking forward to his supporting role in The Producers, though).

8. Gene Hackman

Do I really have to say anything? You know what I mean. If he hadn’t had so many leads, he’d be number one on the big list. No question. So let me take this opportunity to pimp a lead most of you probably haven’t heard of. A small actioner called The Package by Andrew Davis, who would go on to direct The Fugitive. Check it out sometime. Nice, tight little suspense thriller with Tommy Lee Jones before he broke.

9. John Goodman

What’s sad about this is that it’s The Babe, The Flinstones, and King Ralph keepin’ him down, here. Incidentally, another actor who did outstanding work on The West Wing. What is it about that show? Even Matthew Perry shone on that motherfucker.

10. Paul Giammatti

He’s great. But leads in American Splendor and Sideways, two very high profile indies, nearly back-to-back, kind of kills his supporting momentum. But, unlike the Oscars, at least I mentioned him.

11. Harvey Kietel

Borderline, I tells ya. Certainly plenty of solid supporting roles. But I gotta say that Mean Streets and Bad Lieutenant are films that focused on him (and to his credit he’s mesmerizing) and they are not, in the grand scheme of things, small or obscure films.

12. Kevin Spacey

There’s no question that he’s a big star now, but Spacey broke as a character heavy in Se7en and The Usual Suspects in the same damn year! Never mind his supporting work in The Ref, L.A. Confidential, and Hurlyburly. And after American Beauty, he really hasn’t done anything stronger. Hopefully his return to supporting work in Superman Lives (as Lex Luthor!!!!) will see a return to form.

13. Billy Bob Thornton

Maybe the second best actor on this list (after Hackman) but has the same problem as just about everyone else here. Too many high profile leads to be strictly a character actor. Bad Santa, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Monsters Ball, and really broke as a lead in Sling Blade.

In the next installment, we see the final five, and I arguably break all the rules I’ve set here.

By the way, as I wrote this, my buddy Jason called and, having just seen an advance screening of Sith, declared it non-sucky. He advised, however, that you dehydrate yourself prior to viewing.

10. Don Cheadle

There’s something politically incorrect about the fact that one of the most prominent black actors of our time has, for the most part, played criminals. That observation might be more unsettling if it weren’t for the fact that what we remember about these characters is not that they’re criminals, but that they’re three-dimensional, intensely engaging personas that even when given only a few minutes of screen time, like his drug dealer in Bulworth, practically make the films they’re in. And within that seemingly confining trope, Cheadle has conveyed menace (Out of Sight), cool (Devil in a Blue Dress), and buffoonery (Ocean’s Eleven). And he’s no slouch on the other side of the law (Traffic). And, for something completely different, is there anything sadder than Buck Swope’s puppy dog eyes in that ridiculous headdress at the Boogie Nights costume party?

Check out: Traffic, Boogie Nights, Ocean’s Eleven, The Hire: Ticker, Out of Sight, ER, Bulworth, Devil in a Blue Dress

(Check out Hotel Rwanda, too, though it’s a lead role and just about kept him off this list).

9. M. Emmet Walsh

This man is the definition of the term character actor. Sure I’ll bend it for a Don Cheadle or a Benicio Del Toro, who’ve had principally supporting roles, but in the dictionary, this is the picture. You get five minutes of screen time. Make it your own. And he does. He fills a niche. Several actually. The grimy gumshoe. The filthy comic relief. Kind of an adult Pig Pen.

There’s his classic Bryant, sending Harrison Ford on his fateful mission in Blade Runner. There’s “Dr. Jellyfingers” in Fletch. There’s his gum-chewing machinist in Raising Arizona. And his sketchy detective in Blood Simple. He’s even mucky as the apothecary in Romeo + Juliet. But if he ever took a shower, would he really be the same M. Emmet we know and love?

Check out (of the 100+ to choose from!): Blade Runner, Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, The Jerk, Romeo + Juliet, Fletch, Twilight, The Mighty Quinn

8. Stephen Tobolowsky

If you want to describe Stephen Tobolowsky to somebody, just mention Groundhog Day and say “Ned? Ned Ryerson?” Everybody gets it. You can also mention Sneakers and say “My voice is my passport.” But forget those nerds. How about the racist mayor in Mississippi Burning? The lonely trick in Where the Day Takes You? The tragic object lesson Sammy Jankis in Memento? There’s something inherently square in his screen persona that somehow contributes to each character he portrays, no matter how un-Ned Ryerson the role. That mayor is racist because nobody likes him. You could cast him anywhere and he’d make that dork truth work to his advantage.

Check out: Memento, Groundhog Day, The Insider, Mississippi Burning, Thelma & Louise, The Grifters, Sneakers, Freaky Friday, Basic Instinct, Spaceballs, Where the Day Takes You

Another lead worth checking: Stephen Tobolowsky’s Birthday Party

7. J.T. Walsh

There are two varieties of antagonist in Good Morning Vietnam (besides, y’know, the Viet Cong). There’s Lieutenant Steve (Bruno Kirby), basically an earnest, if misguided, idiot. Then there’s Sgt. Dickerson (Walsh). He’s an altogether different beast. He will kill without compunction if he can get away with it. There’s something behind his eyes that Lieutenant Steve will never have – contempt. When you see J.T. Walsh in a film, look out. You’re dealing with Villain B.

And he does it so well. Each of his characters, almost exclusively ne’er-do-wells, have this seething that goes beyond cartoonish treachery into something darker. Even the precious seconds of screen time he shares with Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade make us glad its Billy Bob who’s getting out that day. His characters seem to be acutely aware of what they’ve become (and they’ve always become – he’s excellent at conveying untold backstory), and they’ve made their peace with it. And that’s far scarier than some dude who’s wishy-washy about his evil.

And wouldn’t ya know it? The one time he does play something resembling a good guy (A Few Good Men), he’s all flawed and conflicted and, well, not long for this world.

What’s more, Fametracker named their “HITG!” feature after this guy.

Check out: Sling Blade, Pleasantville, A Few Good Men, The Negotiator, The Last Seduction, Good Morning, Vietnam, The Grifters, Nixon, Breakdown, Backdraft, Executive Decision, Tequila Sunrise

6. Frances McDormand

Frances McDormand may be the single greatest actress working today and, aside from her debut in Blood Simple, she has yet to have a true lead in a film. (Face it, Fargo is an ensemble piece). Even Fargo, for which she won a Best Actress Oscar, is but one slice of the personas she can portray. Compare that to Mississippi Burning (for which she should have won an Oscar). The relationship she develops with Gene Hackman there is one of the most subtle, sweet, and tragic I’ve seen committed to film. And who else would actor’s director Cameron Crowe trust to portray his own mother? (For some real fun, watch her in Almost Famous and Laurel Canyon back-to-back). And yes, she’s married to Joel Coen, but I think he’d still cast her in 5 of his movies if she didn’t give him the time of day. Look at her in those films alone for an idea of her range.

Check out: Fargo, Almost Famous, Miller’s Crossing, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Lone Star, Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, Wonder Boys, Short Cuts, Mississippi Burning, Primal Fear, Something’s Gotta Give, Laurel Canyon

Only five to go! Who will it be? Well, I’ll tell you who it won’t be in the next installment…

First off, my Mad Hot Ballroom review is up here. Layer Cake, also entering limited release this weekend, is here.

And now, on with the countdown…

(And keep those Walken entries coming!)

15. Brian Cox

Since 2000, Brian Cox has averaged 4.6 movies a year. He’ll be in 5 in ’05 and has two lined up already for ‘06, including the much-anticipated Running with Scissors (big shock, he’ll be playing an authority figure). This decade, Cox has been so ubiquitous, and so consistently welcome, that my reaction at this point upon seeing him in a film is to yell out “Norm!”

Two decades ago, however, he gave a performance that still holds its own against one of the great performances of legend. His Hannibal Lecter may not overshadow Anthony Hopkins’, but more to the point, Hopkins’ Lecter doesn’t overshadow Cox’s (especially if you limit yourself to Manhunter and Red Dragon, the truest points of comparison).

Check out: X2, Adaptation, 25th Hour, Rushmore, The Ring, The Bourne Supremacy, Manhunter, L.I.E., The Boxer, Rob Roy

14. William H. Macy

When I saw William H. Macy in Seabiscuit, which came out in the Summer ‘03, I said, “There goes the first Best Supporting Actor performance of the year.” I was wrong, but, you know, it shoulda been. You know what got me? He’s sitting at the track sipping a martini or whiskey or some drink at some ungodly early hour in the day and he looks up and sees Jeff Bridges or whoever there, nods, and says, perfectly deadpan, “Hair of the dog.”

Lost my shit.

And you know what else? The Philo Farnsworth speech he gives to the execs on Sports Night. Or the shorter, more clipped speech he gives the employees one episode earlier. “You shouldn’t think that just because I’m looking at you while you’re talking to me, that I’m necessarily listening to or caring about what you’re saying. It’s just something I do to be polite.” Great writing? Sure. But the delivery is vital.

Or the verbal switchbladery of State and Main: “Who designed these costumes? It looks like Edith Head puked, and that puke designed these costumes.”

He does so much with so little. But it’s not just quippy dexterity that puts him here. It’s also Fargo. Magnolia. The out and out losers who wouldn’t last two seconds with the other guys he’s played. Few other actors can portray the wolf and the sheep with equal conviction.

Check out: Fargo, Magnolia, ER, Door to Door, Boogie Nights, Searching for Bobby Fischer, Pleasantville, Seabiscuit, State and Main, Panic, Sports Night, Happy, Texas, A Civil Action, Mystery Men

13. John Turturro

John Turturro has made a career out of playing the working class, dark corner of the street, urban (and sometimes country) regular Joes just trying to get they’s. But he does comedy, too. Is “Nobody fucks wit’ da Jesus” any less memorable than Pino in Do the Right Thing? He also does nebbish remarkably well. Pino would eat Barton Fink alive.

I guess what I’m saying is, when the Coen Brothers put you in 4 of their movies and Spike Lee puts you in 7, you’ve probably got something on the ball.

Check out: The Big Lebowski, Miller’s Crossing, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Do the Right Thing, Barton Fink, Quiz Show, Rounders, Fearless, Clockers, Cradle Will Rock, He Got Game, Summer of Sam, Jungle Fever, Gung Ho

(For Spike completists, he was also in Mo’ Better Blues, Girl 6, and She Hate Me)

12. Joan Allen

The sad fact is that most female roles in Hollywood are supportive. There’s nothing wrong with being supportive, but when 90% of the roles are there to define someone else, it gets frustrating. Joan Allen has played the wife, the love interest, the supporter many, many times. But what she’s done is to create characters that exist outside their counterparts.

She’s become the better half, just as interesting without the man she’s supposed to support. A fascinating persona on her own terms. Probably the most successful of these turns is her Pat Nixon. She’s interesting enough to have her own movie, making each of her scenes a treat. And to steal presence from Anthony Hopkins is no mean feat. And Nic Cage, John Travolta, William H. Macy, Gary Oldman, Jeff Bridges, and Kevin Kline. She doesn’t hold her own with them. They hold their own with her.

Check out: Searching for Bobby Fischer, The Ice Storm, Pleasantville, The Bourne Supremacy, Manhunter, Face/Off, The Contender, Nixon, Tucker: The Man and His Dream

11. Benicio Del Toro

If Miles Davis were a character actor, he’d be Benicio Del Toro. The epitome of cool in Traffic, The Way of the Gun, and The Hunted, he’s also not afraid to experiment with bloated (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas), tortured (21 Grams), or Alicia Silvestone (Excess Baggage). Being an anti-hero never looked so attractive.

Although not definitive (that would be Javier Rodriguez Rodriguez in Traffic – Coolest. Name. Ever.), his turn in The Usual Suspects may be his most memorable. He takes what could have been a throwaway role and makes it his own. Fenster’s accent and mannerisms are completely the invention of Del Toro, inspired in part by Dustin Hoffman in Dick Tracy.

Check out: The Usual Suspects, Sin City, 21 Grams, Snatch, Traffic, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Swimming with Sharks, Fearless, The Way of the Gun

As we head into the final stretch of the countdown, recently recognized by Greencine (thanks for the shout-out!), I thought I should clear something up. There is one actor who will not appear on this list, even though he greatly deserves it. He deserves it so much, in fact, that he is beyond this list. There is no list that can contain the recipient of the Character Acting Lifetime Achievment Award, or CALAA, for short.

Actually, there are two, but I’ll come back to them.

The recipient has been acting in TV and film since 1953. If there is such a thing as “casual intensity,” he’s delivered it in performance after performance. There’s always something a little off, yet instantly likeable (or at least attention-grabbing) about his characters. In his own way, he has more screen presence than just about any leading man in history.

This is the part where I continue to tease you as to the identity of the recipient (by doing things like calling him “the recipient”) and hand out little pieces of trivia like the fact that he’s the only non-SNL alum to have his own SNL Best Of DVD. But after a while, I kind of want to just cut to the chase and tell you that the recipient (see?) of this year’s (well, the only) CALAA is the one, the only, the inimitable (except by the near-thousands of comedians who do impersonations of him, including your friends and Kevin Spacey)….

Christopher Walken

At some point, (I think it was after the “Weapon of Choice” video, but I could be wrong) Walken ceased to be a very good character actor who carried the distinction of having lower standards for what he’d appear in than Gene Hackman and became a legend. It was more than just a Cult of Walken or a purely ironic appreciation of The Prophecy Trilogy, this guy was actually good. Somewhere in the neutral zone between talent and kitsch, Walken took the best of the two and created his own solar system.

And so it seems unfair to compare him with all these other fine, but mortal, actors.

There are two lists this generates. One, Christopher Walken’s Ten Greatest Performances. Not an easy list – there are so many. I’ve avoided mentioning most of them here since I want you to tell me what you think should be on that list. Feel free to include television appearances along with films.

The second list is more basic. The Five Best Christopher Walken Impersonators. This could include people you know (of course, I’d have to take your word for it, but you seem trustworthy).

I’m counting on you. Christopher’s counting on you. The American public is…okay, really I’m just counting on you.

At this point, Christopher Walken himself would show up to accept the award after a montage of his films, (judiciously filtered for crap like Envy, which even he couldn’t save) and give some speech like…

“I’m…(5 sec. pause)…honored to receive this…(4 sec. pause)…award. (Pause of indeterminate length during which you think he might be done) ACTING…(2 sec. pause)…is a fascinating…(3 sec. pause)…creature. When I was…(2 sec. pause w/ a drop in octave)…four years old…”

I’ll let you imagine the rest.

Maybe I should just list the cast of Boogie Nights at this point, but you’ll see what I mean soon enough…

20. David Paymer

Although probably best remembered as the “Ira” half of “Ira and Barry” in City Slickers, David Paymer has made his way through more films than you can count, if you can’t count to 58. Often playing “that nice Jewish gentleman,” he’s also quite capable of throwing down as a cutthroat predator, like the movie exec in State and Main. His coulda-been-a-contendah, near-breakout role, however, was as the underappreciated brother to Billy Crystal’s Mr. Saturday Night.

Check out: Quiz Show, The Hurricaine, Searching for Bobby Fischer, In Good Company, Amistad, State and Main, Get Shorty, The American President, City Slickers, Mr. Saturday Night

19. Brad Dourif

More likely than not, if you see (or in some cases hear) Brad Dourif in a movie, you’re watching it late at night on USA and it’s a bad, straight-to-DVD-or-shoulda-been horror flick. I mean we’re talking about the voice of Chucky here. However, there’s also a chance you’re watching his tremendous performance in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The one that makes Jack Nicholson really go crazy. Or his insidious turn in Mississippi Burning. The one that makes Gene Hackman lose his shit. Or his role in The Two Towers, which…really just creeps out Miranda Otto, but is still compelling.

Check out: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Blue Velvet, Mississippi Burning, Alien: Resurrection, Fatal Beauty (not a good film, but fun to watch him play a whacked out drug dealer), Deadwood

18. Luis Guzman

Few character actors have managed to make themselves a part of two great acting cadres, but Luis Guzman has wormed his way into both the Steven Soderbergh and Paul Thomas Anderson Players with regularity. He’s also got a knack for working both sides of the law, as a criminal getting the beat-down from J-Lo in Out of Sight, or a cop enthusing with Don Cheadle over the prospect of nailing white criminals for once in Traffic. He’s also quite fond of the 70’s, 90’s, and 80’s (when they strike back, anyway).

Check out: Magnolia, Traffic, I Love the (fill in decade), Boogie Nights, Carlito’s Way, Punch-Drunk Love, The Count of Monte Cristo, Out of Sight, The Salton Sea, The Limey, Confidence, True Believer

17. Philip Seymour Hoffman

No one has made a career out of playing the nuanced misfit like Philip Seymour Hoffman. There’s always something outcast about his character, even when playing the uber-cool (by not being cool at all) Lester Bangs in Almost Famous. But more often than not, he’s the guy you avoid at parties – the phone sex addict of Happiness, the tornado-nerd of Twister (who has the one good line in that shitty, shitty flick), anyone he plays in a Paul Thomas Anderson film, or even the awkward near-lead in State and Main. Okay, maybe that last one I’d like to hang out with.

Check out: Almost Famous, The Big Lebowski, Magnolia, Happiness, Boogie Nights, The 25th Hour, Cold Mountain, Punch-Drunk Love, Red Dragon, The Talented Mr. Ripley, State and Main

16. John C. Reilly

If you want to go past misfit and straight into out-and-out pathetic, tell your casting director to find John C. Reilly. Making himself synonymous with the term “cuckold” after playing one in three films in the same year (Chicago, The Good Girl, The Hours) all with their own completely different personas, he also managed to squeeze in a partnership with Scorsese (Gangs of New York) that same year that generated a less pitiful role in The Aviator as Howard Hughes’ accountant. Sure, Howard never listens to him, but at least no one cheats on him.

Check out: Magnolia, Boogie Nights, The Hours, Chicago, The Aviator, Gangs of New York, The Good Girl, Criminal

We’re halfway there!

25. Clint Howard

How many movies do you think Clint Howard has been in? 25? No even close. 50? Try again. 75? No soup for you! Actually, 75 is pretty close. It’s like 80. 80 films. That ain’t just frere Ron Howard flicks, though he’s in all of those. He also worked his way into every Austin Powers flick. But he’s this high on the list for sheer ubiquity of crap. He’s the epitome of “Hey, It’s That Guy!” especially for crappy, crappy flicks. Barb Wire? He’s there. He wasn’t in Leprechaun, Body Chemistry or The Dentist. No. He waited for Leprechaun II, Body Chemistry II, and The Dentist II. And the forebearance he displays with the Silent Night, Deadly Night series is astounding (he appears in 4 and 5). He waits for a series to be ripe before he contributes. And who could forget his turn as the creepy, crappy Ice Cream Man? There’s a reason the MTV Movie Awards gave him a Lifetime Achievement Award.

Check Out: Every Ron Howard Film (actually, show some discretion), My Dog Skip, The Austin Powers Trilogy, Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, Twilight, The Rocketeer, Tango & Cash, Pauly Shore Is Dead, Ice Cream Man, Humanoids from the Deep, Carnosaur

24. Tony Shalhoub

On the other end of the spectrum, in a sense, is Tony Shalhoub, copping small parts in great films: some Cohen Bros, Searching for Bobby Fischer, Primary Colors, A Civil Action. Bigger parts in good films: Men in Black, Galaxy Quest. And one or two awesome leads: Big Night, Monk. And through it all, he’s played every ethnicity except maybe Black or Asian.

Check out: Monk, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Barton Fink, Searching for Bobby Fischer, Big Night, Galaxy Quest, Men in Black, Primary Colors, A Civil Action, A Life Less Ordinary, Spy Kids, The Siege

Let’s try to forgive him for: Thir13en Ghosts

23. Christopher Guest

Christopher Guest may very well be the most talented man on this list. No offense to you other cats, but this guy also writes and directs and does a damn good job at it, too. He also casts like a motherfucker, corralling one of the most powerful stables of improvisational actors in modern cinema. And I haven’t even begun to speak of his range. You’ve got Count Rugen in The Princess Bride. Cold, calculating, hyper-intelligent. Then you’ve got Nigel Tufnel in This Is Spinal Tap. Warm, artistic, not-so-much with they hyper-intelligent. Both with different, authentic-sounding English accents. All the while this homeboy is from New York.

Check out: The Princess Bride, This Is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, A Few Good Men, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind

22. Judi Dench

If there’s a quality British film being made somewhere, you can bet Judi Dench is on the set. In a very short time, she became the name in austere English roles. It was probably Shakespeare in Love that did it for her, but she’d already played that other Queen with an entire age named after her in Mrs. Brown. And so when it came time to switch genders on M in the James Bond series, was there really any other choice? And when it came time to cast an authority figure in The Chronicles of Riddick…um…let’s just forget about that last one.

Check out: Henry V, Shakespeare in Love, Chocolat, A Room with a View, Mrs. Brown, Iris, Ladies in Lavender, Tea with Mussolini, Tomorrow Never Dies

Trivia: Has starred in 3 films with fellow Dame Maggie Smith: A Room with a View, Ladies in Lavender, and Tea with Mussolini

21. Alan Rickman

When Alan Rickman wowed audiences in ’88 as the perfect foil for Bruce Willis in Die Hard, he was fast-tracked to become the next go-to guy for villainy with similar turns in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and Quigley Down Under (each of which he elevated the shit out of). But then something interesting happened. He showed range. As perennial nice guy Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility, he displayed an ability to not be the center of attention and still turn in a good performance. Then he took a completely different tack in Dogma. And another in Galaxy Quest. And so on…

But he can still project an aura of darkness. Just look at his Professor Snape.

Also, one of the best voices on this list. Nobody can deliver a line like this guy.

Check out: Something the Lord Made, Die Hard, Love Actually, Harry Potter flicks, Sense and Sensibility, Dogma, Galaxy Quest, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

I’m off to my Ten Year College Reunion (!!!), so blogging may be a little spotty for the next few days, but I’ll do my best. Keep your fingers crossed for a wireless signal.

First, my thoughts on Hitchhiker’s here.

And now…

30. Yaphet Kotto

From Alien to Live and Let Die, Kotto is one motherfuker who don’t take no shit. He charges full on into the Xenomorph and James Bond (and gets killed by both – but that’s just the man keepin’ a brutha down) without hesitation. However, his finest role, on film anyway, may be FBI Agent Alonzo Mosley in Midnight Run. Only an actor of his caliber can be the butt of a joke for an entire movie (at the hands of DeNiro, no less) and still come out more memorable simply from the look on his face when he tells that guy from Ally McBeal, “Is this gonna upset me?” Really, though, there is only one Kotto role, and that is Lieutenant Al Giardello in Homicide: Life on the Street.

Check out: Alien, Midnight Run, Blue Collar, Homicide: Life on the Street, Live and Let Die, The Running Man

29. Tim Roth

Tim Roth is adept at being the best thing about some absolute crap films. His Thade in Planet of the Apes is as good a villain as you’d find in a movie that doesn’t suck. He also brings some life to The Musketeer. Fortunately, Mr. Roth has been lent some meatier roles. Everyone knows his Tarantino arc, from Mr. Orange to Pumpkin. But how about what some consider to be the meanest villain of all time, Archibald Cunningham in Rob Roy?

Check out: Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Rob Roy

28. Sam Rockwell

That Sam Rockwell is oh-so-good as the lead in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind should come as no surprise looking at the versatility of his supporting oeuvre. The day player in Galaxy Quest, the humiliated clerk in Made, the heavy in Charlie’s Angels, the partner in Matchstick Men, the President of the Galaxy in Hitchhiker’s. And he always manages to dance. And, lest we forget, the utter creep-out factor of his performance in The Green Mile.

Check out: The Green Mile, Matchstick Men, Galaxy Quest, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (yeah, I know it’s a lead, but it’s so good), Heist, Made, Charlie’s Angels (it’s worth it just to see him dance to “Simon Sez”).

27. Parker Posey

Bitchiness, thy name is Posey. Who else could belt out a convincing “All right, you little freshman bitches! AIIIRR RAAAIIIIDDD!!!” in Dazed and Confused? Or hold her own camping it up with Alan Cumming in (the underrated) Josie and the Pussycats? But her range extends beyond the pout. Check out, for example, her run as a member of the Christopher Guest players, displaying levels of real sorrow and desperation beyond the caricatures she inhabits.

Check out: Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, Dazed and Confused, A Mighty Wind, The House of Yes, Personal Velocity, Josie and the Pussycats

26. Patricia Clarkson

Patricia Clarkson is devastating in Dogville, moving in The Station Agent, compelling in All the Real Girls, and heartbreaking in Pieces of April. And that’s just 2003. Never mind the complete turnaround she pulls in Far From Heaven, letting the world drop out from under Julianne Moore just when she needs her the most. Unforgettable.

Check out: Dogville, The Station Agent, All the Real Girls, Pieces of April, Far from Heaven, The Green Mile, The Untouchables, Miracle

35. James Cromwell

If you need an old guy, and I mean any old guy, be he naughty or nice, go with Cromwell. He can be the kindliest pig-tender or the cruelest police chief (if anyone ever asks you if you’ve told anyone else about your lead on a big case, say “YES!”). And you gotta love him for sticking around for all four Nerd films. That’s just…dedication. That’s what that is.

Check out: L.A. Confidential, The Green Mile, Babe, Babe: Pig in the City (Seriously, it’s awesome!), Star Trek: First Contact, RKO 281, I Robot, Revenge of the Nerds

Trivia: Far as I know, he’s the only man to be in both Babe and The Babe.

34. R. Lee Ermey

His definitive role in Full Metal Jacket alone puts him on this list, but his ability to parlay that into many other roles, including one of the best police chiefs ever in Se7en, bumps him up here. Actually, picking up a ringing phone in that movie, saying “This isn’t even my desk!” and hanging up also puts him on this list. Furthermore, see him play one of the most tragic, most flawed figures (in a movie full of flawed, despicable characters) in the tour-de-force Mississippi Burning. And with all that, he can still take time out to make fun of his military persona in the Toy Story films.

Check out: Se7en, Full Metal Jacket, Toy Story 1 & 2, Dead Man Walking, Mississippi Burning

Trivia: Had a bit part in that other Vietman flick, Apocalypse Now.

33. Jim Broadbent

The comic relief? Sure, if you wanna take him at his zaniest in Moulin Rouge! (emphasis theirs). But you’ve also got the corrupt-beyond-belief Boss Tweed in Gangs of New York or the dry-as-vermouth bartender in The Crying Game. You’ve also got a surprise Oscar-winner on your hands in Iris. And any time you have a large, ensemble British cast, you can pretty much bet he’ll be there. I think it’s in his contract at this point.

Check out: Brazil, Moulin Rouge!, Richard III, The Gathering Storm, Topsy-Turvy, Gangs of New York, The Crying Game, Iris, Little Voice, Bridget Jones’s Diary

Trivia: I swear he looks just like Colin Mochrie’s cousin or something. Okay, that’s not trivia, but look!

Am I right or what?

32. Maggie Smith

It doesn’t get classier than Dame Maggie Smith. It doesn’t get wittier than her in Gosford Park, and it doesn’t get more perfect in casting than her as Professor McGonagall in the Harry Potter films. And don’t even get me started on A Room with a View.

Check out: Harry Potter flicks, Richard III, A Room with a View, Gosford Park, Murder by Death, Ladies in Lavender, Tea with Mussolini, California Suite, Clash of the Titans (just for fun)

31. Ian Holm

I do not have time, I simply do not have the time to tell you how many good movies this guy has been in and how freakin’ incredible he was in all of them. I just don’t have that kind of time. I’d be here all night. Let me tell you one. Sam Mussabini in Chariots of Fire. Un-fuck-believable. Best mentor figure. The Yoda of running. Compare that to Ash in Alien. Can’t be the same guy. Compare THAT to Fluellen in Henry V. Compare THAT to Mitchell in The Sweet Hereafter. I’ve gotta stop. He’s like fuckin’ M&M’s, I can’t mention just one.

Shit, I ain’t even got to Lord of the Rings yet.

Check out: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Alien, Brazil, Garden State, Henry V, The Sweet Hereafter, The Aviator, Chariots of Fire, Big Night, The Madness of King George, The Fifth Element, From Hell, eXistenZ, A Life Less Ordinary

40. Peter Sarsgaard

You really think after he got Oscar nom-jacked for Shattered Glass I was gonna leave him off this list? This man is THE man in underrated character actors. From his lip tremble in Kinsey (when you see it, you’ll know what I mean) to his Desert Storm card collection in Garden State, he just inhabits a role, usually coming off as disaffected with a vulnerable center. Nobody plays “don’t-give-a-fuck” like Sarsgaard.

Check out: Garden State, Boys Don’t Cry, Kinsey, Shattered Glass, K-19: The Widowmaker

39. Oliver Platt

I’ll be honest. My fondest memories of Oliver Platt are TV ones. Specifically, the end of Season 2 of The West Wing. Best. White House Counsel. Ever. But he’s made his mark on film as well. Usually not quite fitting in his surroundings, as the nature geek in Lake Placid or the tech geek in Executive Decision. But you can pretty much put him anywhere.

Check out: Kinsey, Pieces of April, Bulworth, Executive Decision, The Three Musketeers, Lake Placid

38. Kevin Pollack

He hasn’t been in that many movies. Scratch that. He hasn’t been in that many good movies. But he’s been in two that pretty much solidified him as movie helper. As Todd Hockney in character actor nirvana The Usual Suspects, he brings the comic relief (actually all of the criminals in that movie have a great sense of humor – except sourpuss Gabriel Byrne). Same in A Few Good Men, but with a Sorkin twist. If you want a wacky sidekick who actually seems like he could hold down a job, Pollack’s your man. Also, he does a killer Christopher Walken.

Check out: The Usual Suspects, Casino, A Few Good Men, Avalon, L.A. Story, The Aristocrats (Best. Walken. Ever.)

Trivia: He was with Paul Gleason (#41) in Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. I shit you not.

37. Jeremy Piven

If Kevin Pollack is movie helper, then Jeremy Piven is John Cusack helper, showing up to give the thespian a hand in Grosse Pointe Blank and Say Anything…. Who else is John gonna tell, “YOU MUST CHILL! I HAVE HIDDEN YOUR KEYS!”? Then again, you could also look at him as Cameron Crowe helper, performing a brief but unforgettable cameo in Singles that makes Campbell Scott blush. Or you could just compare his performances in Old School and Rush Hour 2 and say, “That boy’s got range!”

Check out: Say Anything… , Grosse Pointe Blank, Old School, Singles, Rush Hour 2, PCU

36. Pete Postlethwaite

Aside from being the Father in the name of, Postlethwaite has carved out a niche as the hip old guy. There he is helping out Leo and Claire in Romeo + Juliet. There he is as the ethnically ambiguous Kobayashi in The Usual Suspects. There he is in the opening strains of “Tubthumping,” in a speech lifted from Brassed Off. And in all of these he never appears as the same guy twice.

Check out: The Usual Suspects, In the Name of the Father, Brassed Off, Amistad, Romeo + Juliet